Tomorrow they kick me out of the hospital. I will leave with mixed feelings. While I am looking forward to going home and being with my family, I am not sure how I will be able to leave Ryan here. If they would let me sleep in the NICU I would. I am afraid that my life will expect me to pick up where I left off and I will have a hard time getting away to be with Ryan. I know that is probably not the case, I have to be here and I will be. Just like I have to be home and I will be there as well. I think I better start praying for my health.
No news is good news! At least that is what Ryan nurse told me tonight. She said they did an ultrasound on his heart today. When I asked her if all looked well she said the doctor would tell me and if they didn't call to update me then there was nothing to worry about and I didn't need to ask. Well if she know me she would know that doesn't work for me. I want to know what was found even if it was normal. What I did learn was not to ask that nurse for info.
Ryan is off the nitric oxide and his oxygen is down to 35% on the respirator. They did start him on photo-therapy last night for jaundice. I feel bad for him because it is drying out his skin and it probably isn't comfortable lying there under that light. They cover their eyes but still it doesn't look like fun. They still haven't have to sedate him. At first I thought it was a good sign he wasn't being sedated but then I realized it's not. The nurse said he probably doesn't feel good so he just lies there and isn't very active, thus they don't have to sedate him. If he felt well he would be more active and they would be sedating him. So really sedation is a good sign.
They are doing he testing less often. They were running his labs and basic test every 4 hours. Yesterday they went to every 6 hours and tonight they were down to every 8 hours. That's positive. He has also gained weight. He was born weighing 1310 grams, which is about 2 lbs. 14 oz. Yesterday he weighed in at 1357 grams. What does that work out to? 1360 grams is 3 lbs. so he is not quite 3 lbs. Of course he hasn't lost any weight so that is probably still to come.
My milk came in and I have been pumping and the NICU is freezing my milk. As soon as he is able to start getting food, it will be ready and waiting for him. That should help him put on some more weight. It sure helped his brothers.
So far I can't complain. As hard as it is to see my baby hooked up to machines and full of IV's, he is here. He is still alive and he is not having any major problems. That is more then a lot of the NICU parents can say. I know God is with him even when I can't be. God is there holding his tiny body and helping him make it into the world.
Wow my meds make me want to pass out. I got them a little over an hour ago and they are kicking in. It is all I can do not to fall asleep. I actually already have twice since I got the meds. I guess that is why they don't want me to drive.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Jan 12, 2009
Today was a better day. My pain is not as bad. I have been able to get out of bed more and walk around more. I was thinking I couldn't walk to the NICU but I will have to be able to walk from the parking lot to the NICU once I get out of here, so I figured I should work on that. I did walk down to the NICU and back all by myself tonight. They are saying I should get to go home on Thursday. That is the longest they can keep me. Ryan on the other hand will probably be here until his due date in April. So it will be a long haul of trips everyday to Reno.
Today Ryan is doing well, he was stable with assistance as the nurse put it. He is still on the respirator which they have added nitric oxide to the oxygen. With the help of the nitric oxide they were able to lower his oxygen level to 30%. They had the nitric level at 30 yesterday. It was down to 20 this afternoon and tonight he is down to 5. They said after 12 hours they will reduce his nitric level every hour by 1%. By this time tomorrow he could be off the nitric all together. They have also put a PIC line in so they were able to remove several of the IV sites he had. They haven't had to sedate him much as he is resting comfortably without it. They gave him a sponge bath today and now he is resting comfortably on his tummy. He is so tiny, his feet are about an inch long. His head is the size of a medium orange. From head to toe he is about the size of a loaf of bread. He has such a sweet face. I just want to pick him up and kiss him. It sounds like in another week or two I maybe able to hold him. If he wasn't on the type of respirator he is I actually could hold him now. Once he can change to another respirator Iwill get to hold him for a little while each day. I am looking forward to that.
I just keep hearing good reports from the nurses in the NICU. They say he is big for only being 28 weeks. They say he looks more like a 30 week baby. He is strong and he is definitely fighting to make it. What else can we ask for? They said in a few weeks he will be able to wear some clothes in the NICU so that has given me something to do, shopping for preemie things online. He is so tiny I can't imagine puttng clothes on him. He will be so cute!
Today Ryan is doing well, he was stable with assistance as the nurse put it. He is still on the respirator which they have added nitric oxide to the oxygen. With the help of the nitric oxide they were able to lower his oxygen level to 30%. They had the nitric level at 30 yesterday. It was down to 20 this afternoon and tonight he is down to 5. They said after 12 hours they will reduce his nitric level every hour by 1%. By this time tomorrow he could be off the nitric all together. They have also put a PIC line in so they were able to remove several of the IV sites he had. They haven't had to sedate him much as he is resting comfortably without it. They gave him a sponge bath today and now he is resting comfortably on his tummy. He is so tiny, his feet are about an inch long. His head is the size of a medium orange. From head to toe he is about the size of a loaf of bread. He has such a sweet face. I just want to pick him up and kiss him. It sounds like in another week or two I maybe able to hold him. If he wasn't on the type of respirator he is I actually could hold him now. Once he can change to another respirator Iwill get to hold him for a little while each day. I am looking forward to that.
I just keep hearing good reports from the nurses in the NICU. They say he is big for only being 28 weeks. They say he looks more like a 30 week baby. He is strong and he is definitely fighting to make it. What else can we ask for? They said in a few weeks he will be able to wear some clothes in the NICU so that has given me something to do, shopping for preemie things online. He is so tiny I can't imagine puttng clothes on him. He will be so cute!
Mothers intuition is always right
So I wasn't wrong it was a big deal, it was a very big deal. My nurse kept the baby on the monitor all night and he was doing okay although he was having quite a few dips in his heart rate which I knew wasn't normal for him. In the morning I got a new nurse and she was very concerned by my bleeding and the fact I was in pain. She called the doctor who was in the hospital and said she had to come see me. The doctor came in at 7 am. She felt my abdomen and saw it was painful to the touch so she said she needed to see if I was dilated. She tried to do a visual exam but there was too much blood, so she did a hand check and found I was 1 1/2 centimeters dilated. Based on that and how much very dark blood I had she said we needed to deliver the baby as there was either an infection or my placenta had abrupted. She did a quick sonogram to see if he was still heads down like he had been for several weeks. However in the course of one night he had turned completely around and was breach, so that meant a C-Section. I was rushed into emergency surgery and at 8:29 am Ryan James Sentell was born. He was only 2 lbs. 14.2 ozs. and 14 1/2 inches long. He was whisked away by the NICU team and I never even saw him, all I saw was an isolette full of blankets go by.
After surgery, Doug went to check on Ryan and then move all of my collected stuff from the past month out of my room. I laid in the recovery room coming out of anesthesia and getting my first taste of pain. After an hour I was put in another room where I laid in bed waiting for my next pain pill to come. Doug showed me pictures of my little tiny boy on his camera-phone. It was hard to tell from that little picture what kind of shock I was in for. He didn't seem that small and he didn't have a lot of stuff happening at that time. After about 8 hours the nurses asked if I was ready to get out of bed. Based on my pain level just trying to adjust in the bed I thought they surely must be kidding. They weren't!!! They told me in order to see my baby I had to get out of bed and walk. To this I cringed, walk to the NICU did they know how far that was!!! Thankfully they didn't mean I actually had to walk to the NICU just a few feet to my bathroom. If I could do that and get cleaned up then I could use a wheelchair to see my baby. Despite the excruciating pain I did as they asked and Doug got to wheel me to the NICU.
Here is where things went down hill. I found a tiny, tiny baby with tubes and wires come out of every part of his body. He was on a respirator that blows 300 tiny breaths into his lungs and causes his chest to quiver. Now while I was aware that this would probably happen and thought I was somewhat prepared, I was not! I started to cry, which made my incision hurt because I had to take deep breaths. I couldn't see my baby's face because it was facing the big respirator machine and I was on the other side. I was afraid to touch him, as I didn't want to get him sick or cause him any problems. To top it all off he was in crisis, his blood pressure was dropping, his oxygen level was low and they were doing a sonogram of his heart and lungs to try and determine what the problem was. I was having a hard time dealing with all I was seeing and then they said they needed us to wait by the desk so they could put another IV in. An IV in his head no less. The only good thing was one of the nurses came by and told the nurse who wanted us to leave that I probably just wanted to see his face. She told her to just let me look at his face before she put in the IV. She agreed and let Doug wheel me to the other side to see Ryan's sweet tiny face.
We sat by and waited while they put in his IV and the Cardiologist checked the sonogram of his heart and lungs. When they were done they let us come back at which time the Cardiologist told us his lungs weren't developed, which was a shock to us as everyone so far was saying his lungs looked really good for his age. They then started giving him a transfusion and drugs to bring up his blood pressure. While these things seemed to be helping his blood pressure and oxygen level, it was causing his heart to slow to dangerous levels. I had to leave when they ordered a sonogram of his brain. My biggest fear above all else is brain damage. I went back to my room filled with fear and worry.
They told Doug to come back just before 6 to check on his progress. Thankfully Ryan had responded well to the treatment. His oxygen level, blood pressure and heart rate were all up. The sonogram of his brain showed a very small bleed that was most likely causing his heart rate to drop and they said it should correct itself in the next few days and not cause any lasting problems. I was able to stop worrying and get some sleep.
After surgery, Doug went to check on Ryan and then move all of my collected stuff from the past month out of my room. I laid in the recovery room coming out of anesthesia and getting my first taste of pain. After an hour I was put in another room where I laid in bed waiting for my next pain pill to come. Doug showed me pictures of my little tiny boy on his camera-phone. It was hard to tell from that little picture what kind of shock I was in for. He didn't seem that small and he didn't have a lot of stuff happening at that time. After about 8 hours the nurses asked if I was ready to get out of bed. Based on my pain level just trying to adjust in the bed I thought they surely must be kidding. They weren't!!! They told me in order to see my baby I had to get out of bed and walk. To this I cringed, walk to the NICU did they know how far that was!!! Thankfully they didn't mean I actually had to walk to the NICU just a few feet to my bathroom. If I could do that and get cleaned up then I could use a wheelchair to see my baby. Despite the excruciating pain I did as they asked and Doug got to wheel me to the NICU.
Here is where things went down hill. I found a tiny, tiny baby with tubes and wires come out of every part of his body. He was on a respirator that blows 300 tiny breaths into his lungs and causes his chest to quiver. Now while I was aware that this would probably happen and thought I was somewhat prepared, I was not! I started to cry, which made my incision hurt because I had to take deep breaths. I couldn't see my baby's face because it was facing the big respirator machine and I was on the other side. I was afraid to touch him, as I didn't want to get him sick or cause him any problems. To top it all off he was in crisis, his blood pressure was dropping, his oxygen level was low and they were doing a sonogram of his heart and lungs to try and determine what the problem was. I was having a hard time dealing with all I was seeing and then they said they needed us to wait by the desk so they could put another IV in. An IV in his head no less. The only good thing was one of the nurses came by and told the nurse who wanted us to leave that I probably just wanted to see his face. She told her to just let me look at his face before she put in the IV. She agreed and let Doug wheel me to the other side to see Ryan's sweet tiny face.
We sat by and waited while they put in his IV and the Cardiologist checked the sonogram of his heart and lungs. When they were done they let us come back at which time the Cardiologist told us his lungs weren't developed, which was a shock to us as everyone so far was saying his lungs looked really good for his age. They then started giving him a transfusion and drugs to bring up his blood pressure. While these things seemed to be helping his blood pressure and oxygen level, it was causing his heart to slow to dangerous levels. I had to leave when they ordered a sonogram of his brain. My biggest fear above all else is brain damage. I went back to my room filled with fear and worry.
They told Doug to come back just before 6 to check on his progress. Thankfully Ryan had responded well to the treatment. His oxygen level, blood pressure and heart rate were all up. The sonogram of his brain showed a very small bleed that was most likely causing his heart rate to drop and they said it should correct itself in the next few days and not cause any lasting problems. I was able to stop worrying and get some sleep.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
I don't know what is going on so I will blog!
I am trying not to panic and patiently wait for my nurse to return but that doesn't seem to be working. I just meet my first big goal of 28 weeks today and tonight I started bleeding. I don't think this is a good sign I wouldn't think I could go for very long without delivering but my nurse didn't get as freaked out as I did. She put the baby on the monitor and said she would check with the doctors as see if they thought she should do anything else. She was very casual, like she was sure this was no big deal but she would see. I wasn't sure if she was trying to be casual so I wouldn't get freaked out more or if she really thought this was no big deal. I think this is a major deal and 20 minutes later she has not returned and I am still panicked. Maybe I am over reacting but I have had enough babies to know that bleeding isn't a good sign. I am not having any contractions but I am starting to have some pain. Again not a good sign, of course they have me on medication to block contractions so maybe I would be having contractions if I wasn't on the meds. I guess all I can do now is pray.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Almost to my first goal!
As of the end of the day today I only have 2 days to reach my first goal of 28 weeks. I spoke with my Dr. tonight and asked if her goal was 32 or 34 weeks and she said 34 if we can continue with no problems. That means 6 more weeks!! I can't panic though, my next goal is 30 weeks, so only 2 weeks to get there. Then I can worry about the next 2 weeks.
So far the drugs are stopping my contractions. The drug made me feel very strange the first dose, my heart raced, and I could feel the blood pumping through my veins. Thankfully subsequent doses have not effected me I don't notice them at all. I also did some research and they have found that preemies who were exposed to this drug had fewer complications. I can't complain about that. It just reaffirms that God is in control and everything happens for a reason.
Of course the lack of good food and no sweets are making me ready to deliver this little guy. I am so ready for some ice cream. It seems like every commercial on TV is for some kind of food I can't eat, they are killing me!! I am just praying when I get out of here my blood sugar returns to normal and I can have some of those things. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am doing all of this for Ryan, it's not about me!
So far the drugs are stopping my contractions. The drug made me feel very strange the first dose, my heart raced, and I could feel the blood pumping through my veins. Thankfully subsequent doses have not effected me I don't notice them at all. I also did some research and they have found that preemies who were exposed to this drug had fewer complications. I can't complain about that. It just reaffirms that God is in control and everything happens for a reason.
Of course the lack of good food and no sweets are making me ready to deliver this little guy. I am so ready for some ice cream. It seems like every commercial on TV is for some kind of food I can't eat, they are killing me!! I am just praying when I get out of here my blood sugar returns to normal and I can have some of those things. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am doing all of this for Ryan, it's not about me!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Day 24
We have made it to 27 weeks and 1 day. I have to admit that I am ready to go home. So far no contractions or infection. I have yet to have a high blood sugar reading. Of course they aren't giving me any sugar but my blood sugar has been pretty low. I guess I will lose weight while I am here. That can't be a bad thing.
I am starting to go stir crazy in here. It's not that I don't have stuff to do, it just that I am tired of doing what I have to do. Maybe I am going crazy from lack of sleep. The have changed the monitoring of the baby from once every 12 hours to every 8 hours. That means I have monitoring from 10 pm till midnight then they wake me up at 6 am to start another round of monitoring. Then after lunch when a nap sounds good, it's time for my 2 pm monitoring. Thankfully my nurse was very busy yesterday and she missed my 2 pm monitoring so I got to take a long nap. You know you tired when you take a 4 hour nap.
It doesn't help that there is nothing on tv. I get very few channels. I get TLC which hasn't had much variety over the holiday's just marathons. Then there is the ID channel, I call it the murder channel because all they do is profile murders. I get USA which has just been playing marathons. Then there are the basic network channels, 2 news channels and 2 or 3 sports channels. As bored as I am I don't think I will start liking football or soap operas anytime soon. I am trying not to do too much online shopping since I will probably owe the hospital a million dollars before I get out of here. Well maybe only a couple thousand after my insurance pays. But still more then we can easily afford.
The positive news is the nurses and doctors all say that baby Ryan's heart monitoring is better then most babies at 27 weeks. They say his heart is reacting like a much older baby. Which they say also has to do with his neurological development. I am hoping that is a good sign that when he is born he will do better then most preemies. Of course I realize he is still a preemie and will have complications I just hope that he is strong enough that he has fewer then most. We will see what happens.
I am starting to go stir crazy in here. It's not that I don't have stuff to do, it just that I am tired of doing what I have to do. Maybe I am going crazy from lack of sleep. The have changed the monitoring of the baby from once every 12 hours to every 8 hours. That means I have monitoring from 10 pm till midnight then they wake me up at 6 am to start another round of monitoring. Then after lunch when a nap sounds good, it's time for my 2 pm monitoring. Thankfully my nurse was very busy yesterday and she missed my 2 pm monitoring so I got to take a long nap. You know you tired when you take a 4 hour nap.
It doesn't help that there is nothing on tv. I get very few channels. I get TLC which hasn't had much variety over the holiday's just marathons. Then there is the ID channel, I call it the murder channel because all they do is profile murders. I get USA which has just been playing marathons. Then there are the basic network channels, 2 news channels and 2 or 3 sports channels. As bored as I am I don't think I will start liking football or soap operas anytime soon. I am trying not to do too much online shopping since I will probably owe the hospital a million dollars before I get out of here. Well maybe only a couple thousand after my insurance pays. But still more then we can easily afford.
The positive news is the nurses and doctors all say that baby Ryan's heart monitoring is better then most babies at 27 weeks. They say his heart is reacting like a much older baby. Which they say also has to do with his neurological development. I am hoping that is a good sign that when he is born he will do better then most preemies. Of course I realize he is still a preemie and will have complications I just hope that he is strong enough that he has fewer then most. We will see what happens.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Day 20 - Happy New Year!!
Can you believe it is 2009? I got to ring in the New Year with testing. Testing that I failed, so now I have a diagnosis of gestational diabetes. Happy New Year to me!! I am not so concerned about what this means today, I won't be pregnant too much longer (another 5 weeks at best). The concern is that by having gestational diabetes I more likely to develop Type II diabetes. That I want to avoid. I know, I know, I have to lose weight as that is part of why I have this. Once I get out of here I can work on it. Unfortunately they won't let me do anything about it in here. If anything being in here just make it worse. So I guess no more goodies!! There are going to cut off my sugar. Good thing I already took care of the goodies everyone brought me.
You know you are getting old when you fall asleep before the ball drops on New Years. I was 9 minutes away from the ball dropping. I laid my head down to rest my eyes and woke up about 12:30. Oh well, maybe next year. I guess this is going to be a year of all kinds of new things. I just hope they are all positive for the most part. Especially where baby Ryan is concerned. We want only positive things for him.
9 days to go and we hit 28 weeks. Only 37 days until we hit 32 weeks.
You know you are getting old when you fall asleep before the ball drops on New Years. I was 9 minutes away from the ball dropping. I laid my head down to rest my eyes and woke up about 12:30. Oh well, maybe next year. I guess this is going to be a year of all kinds of new things. I just hope they are all positive for the most part. Especially where baby Ryan is concerned. We want only positive things for him.
9 days to go and we hit 28 weeks. Only 37 days until we hit 32 weeks.
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