I am exhausted!!

I can't believe I have been home for 2 days. Too bad you can't save up rest and just power yourself up when you need it. I had a month in the hospital to rest and now I need rest and I have to go non-stop instead. Of course things are worse because I was on bed rest for a month. My muscles don't work as well, my whole body shakes because my muscles have atrophied so much. I know I am supposed to rest there just aren't enough hours in the day. My legs have started swelling in response to all the activity too. Oh well, I just have to keep going. Hopefully my body can keep up. At least the pain from my c-section is subsiding. I am still taking pain meds, but I have to take them less often.

Ryan on the other hand is doing great. He was on photo therapy for jaundice and that made his skin dry out and look terrible. Today they discontinued the photo therapy and he looked so much better. He also started feedings today. Well he is getting fed through a feeding tube but he is getting my breast milk that I am pumping. The doctor ordered feedings every 3 hours. His nurse said they usually start feeding on a 6 hour schedule but for some reason the doctor ordered every 3 for him. His first feeding was today at noon. I got to the hospital a little after 2 pm. His nurse checked his feeding tube by sucking it out with air to see if there was any food left from the first feeding, which there wasn't. That meant that he passed the first feeding test to she gave him his second feeding at 3 pm. Of course they only feed him 1 ml of food which is not very much, but at least he tolerated it.

Yesterday he was down to his lowest weight yet. 2 lbs. 10 oz. Thankfully today he had gained back 2 ounces to 2 lbs. 12 oz. That with without any feedings. Hopefully tomorrow he will have gained even more weight.

He is starting to be more active as well. His nurse said when she came on this morning he had his hand firmly grasped around the his respirator tube. She sedated him to make sure he didn't pull his tube out. But as I have said having to be sedated is a good sign it means he is feeling good. The fact that the respirator tube is starting to bug him is hopefully a good sign he will get off it soon. They did have to raise his oxygen level this morning but by the time I got there in the afternoon he was back to 33% oxygen.

I saw him cry for the first time today. He can't make any sounds because of the tubes, which breaks my heart, and there are no tears, but you can see it in his face that he is crying. Again this is a good sign. I got to change his diaper today which was just nice to be able to touch him more then I have been. He is so very tiny, the preemie diapers are big on him. It just kills me to not be able to pick him up and hold him, but I know I will before too long.

I will try to remember to take more photos tomorrow. He looked so good today and I took a picture with my camera phone but it is dark. I don't know why I didn't think to use the regular camera. I put it in the bag I take to the hospital for exactly that reason and I never even thought about it. Hopefully tomorrow he looks as good as today if not better.

Well, I am really tired but I wanted to make sure an put an update on here. Keep praying for Ryan, he isn't out of the woods yet, but God is definitely with him.