This is it, I am just waiting for Doug to come get me. I am excited about leaving the hospital. I am going to get a pedicure for my scary feet. I am cutting my hair off even if Doug doesn't like it. I am getting my eyes checked so I can go back to wearing contacts.
What have I learned from this experience?
Don't procrastinate!
Don't take your family for granted, you never know when you could lose them. Not that I lost my family but I haven't seem my babies for weeks. I just want to hold them, read to them, bake them cookie and shower them with love.
Don't sweat the small stuff. I am a pretty relaxed person but I still think I get caught up on the wrong things when dealing with my kids and especially my husband.
Always, Always turn to God. I don't have a lot of worries, I try very hard to give them to God. I probably worry my prayers too much though, instead of just talking to God. This time alone has given me an opportunity to connect with Him completely differently then I ever have before. It has helped me to submit to him. To look to him when I need strength and to trust in his responses when I need answers.
Overall I walk away with a sense of peace after this experience. While I still get upset when I see my little baby in the NICU, I know that he is going to make it out of this okay. My one prayer over the last month was no matter when Ryan was born that God made sure he wasn't born until he was able to survive without any long terms problems. I know that no matter what kind of ups and downs we go through that at some point in the next 12 weeks I will be able to take home my sweet little baby and move past all of this.
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Holly of course my prayers have always been for good health for Ryan, but they've also been coupled with prayers for you - to know God on a whole new level, to learn to lean on your Daddy in heaven... and reading your post is such a blessing to know that He is and has been drawing you nearer, holding you in the crook of His arm, the way you will soon hold a totally dependent and devoted baby! I know this pregnancy was rough and now you've got a long road ahead - but to see that you've grown so much is amazing! He will continue to carry you, Doug and all of the boys through this!
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