I never think about blogging anymore, but it is nice to go back and read what has happened in the past. Or for those of us overworked mom's it's nice to have a record of you life since you are too tired to have a memory of it.
Let's see... new developments... Ryan has started rolling over. At first he could only roll to his side from his tummy (yes I let him sleep on his tummy). He would get to his side and then couldn't go either way. He would wake me up at night, not because he was crying but because I could hear him sucking his thumb like crazy trying to comfort himself back to sleep despite his awkward position. It didn't take him long to get past that. Now he rolls over both ways with no problem.
Ryan has also started eating solid food. Well as solid as you can consider baby food. He is really enjoying eating and eats at least 2 jars of 1st food per sitting. He was having some issues with not gaining weight a month or so ago, but since he started solids he is getting past that. He unfortunately has decided he would rather take a bottle of formula then nurse though. It makes me a little sad as I have nursed all my boys for a year, but at least he got 6 months so I guess it is better then nothing. I would rather not pay for formula, especially the expensive formula for preemies he is one, but he is healthy and happy so that is all that matters.
As for the rest of the family...
Andrew is gearing up for the first day of 2nd grade next week. I don't know if he is excited or not, he doesn't show much emotion about it. I think we are going to let him ride his bike to school so I am sure that will make going to school more fun.
Alex is going to start back to preschool the week after Drew starts school. We are trying something new this year, some friends of mine have decided to do a pre-k co-op. There are 3 girls and Alex. We are each teaching a week and then having a field trip the 5th week. I am not completely sure how I feel about teaching preschool but I figure why not. I actually is the answer to a prayer because if Alex and Tyler were both going to traditional preschool, it would cost me $320 a month. Since Alex is now free minus food costs and materials on my week, I am saving $185 a month. Alex is going to have surgery to remove the cyst in his neck. The ENT said is a pretty common surgery and they do them often. He goes in September 8th at 7:30 am for the procedure. He does have to be under anesthesia but he should be fine, this won't be his first time going under.
Tyler will also start preschool this year. He will be at a traditional preschool that I thankfully don't have to teach. Of course that is assuming he get potty trained in the 4 weeks he has left. I know as my mother keeps saying I am the one who has to get trained and make sure he goes, so far that hasn't happened. I am sure it will though. Alex started school last year really not potty trained. We told him that he had to use the potty at school and not go in his pants or they would send him home and he wouldn't get to come back. Once he hit the first day of school that was all he needed, he was trained with in the first week.
Doug is enjoying his job as detective. He doesn't always enjoy working the child crimes desk, but he is really good with the kids and able to get them to open up to him. This is a big plus for the job. Even if he doesn't like it God has him there for a reason.
I am gearing up for the new MOPS year. I am coordinating again this year so I have lots of work to do. I also have put off working on MOPS until just recently so my time to figure it all out in is limited. Good thing I work well under pressure.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Fogot to Blog
I am sure no one cares if I blog any more or not, but I seems like good therapy to do tonight. Here is a quick summery of the last 2 months since I have blogged.
April saw Ryan getting his first cold. That meant repeated visits to the ER and Pediatrician and an over night stay in the hospital. His cold wasn't that bad, but we were scared to death it would go into his lungs and he would stop breathing. As it turned out his cold consisted of just congestion of the nose and never went into his lungs.
In May, Ryan went to the lung doctor and she advised if I was in a hurry to get him off the oxygen she would try taking him off but she would rather wait another month. I didn't feel he was ready to be off the oxygen so we decided to keep him on another month. I know he could go without the oxygen for an extended period of time. When he was in the hospital for his cold the nurses wondered why he was on oxygen and asked if they could take him off and see how he did. They talked to the Dr. on call and he said fine as long as his pulse ox level didn't go below 92. So they took him off and for 5 hours he hovered around 92. I finally asked them to put him back on the oxgyen, he obviously still needed it.
Ryan had other plans though, May 30th he ripped his nasal cannula out of his nose so hard that he tore one of the pads off his face that keep the cannula on. The pad took with it some of his skin. At the time I was in a class and I didn't have another set of pads to put back on him. Besides I would feel really bad putting the pad over the damaged skin. I knew he could be off oxygen after out experience at the hospital so I left him off while I was there. At the time we had stopped using the pulse ox monitor and we didn't have any probes to use it anyway. I would have liked to check his oxygen level once I got home but I couldn't. I didn't feel comfortable leaving him off the oxygen permanently so I hooked him back up when he went to bed. When he woke up the next morning he had the cannula under his chin instead of in his nose. I put it back in his nose and he again ripped the cannula and a pad off. Thankfully the pad that he tore off this time was the one he didn't rip off the day before. Since it was older and the sticky stuff wears off, it came off without taking any skin with it. So I left him off that day as well. I put him back on that night though.
This went on for another day before we got probes for the pulse ox monitor. Once we got the probes I checked his oxygen level. He had already been off oxygen for several hours when I checked it and he registered 98. I left him on the monitor for a little while but once I could see he was doing fine I took him off. At that point we called the lung doctor and told them what was going on and asked them to order the test. The test is an over night pulse ox test to ensure that he is keeping his levels up. To make a long story short, between the doctor and the oxygen company who had to bring the unit to do the test it took almost 30 days to get that test completed. Finally we performed the test and hear back from the doctor. She said his levels were great and he was definitely ready to be off the oxygen.
Thankfully we got the test done before he got his second cold. We completed the test Friday night, Saturday morning the congestion started. Now if the oxygen people would come pick up their stuff we could be done with this whole mess!!
In other developments... Once Ryan was off the oxygen we could actually put him down in his own crib to sleep. No more bassinet in the living room of chaos! Once he could stretch out in his big bed he started sleeping all night. We are talking 8-12 hours a night. At first this freaked me out, who am I kidding it still freaks me out. At least when he woke up every couple of hours I knew he was alright. Now I just have to constantly check on him. It makes me a little neurotic, of course Doug would say I am a lot neurotic all the time without things like this. Oh well it takes some neurotics to make the world go round.
Ryan is a very good, very happy baby. He doesn't cry much. He like to talk to anyone who will listen to his story. He love his daddy and his brothers. He gets excited with his whole body when he sees daddy. Of course he gets excited like that when strangers talk to him. He is just a sweet happy baby. It scares me to think we might have lost him. It scares me that we might still lose him. Overall he seems normal. His development is where it should be based on his due date. Actually based on the due date he is about 1 month ahead. He goes and sees the eye doctor next week to make sure his eyes still look normal. He will also see the lung doctor and pediatrician again. I just keep praying that God stays with him and helps him continue to do well.
Of course if it isn't Ryan, it's somebody else. All of the boys saw the eye doctor and Andrew was prescribed glasses. He only has a minor distance prescription but the doctor felt it was necessary. Alex and Tyler had similar prescriptions but based on their age they were not given glasses. The eye doctor said they could out grow the near-sightedness and not need glasses in a few years. Andrew could out grow his as well, but since he needs to see in school he was prescribed the glasses.
I took Alex to the doctor because he seems to be developing and Adam's Apple. Call me crazy but that seemed a little strange in a four year old. I asked the doctor why he was getting his Adam's Apple and she said that isn't an Adam's Apple. This caught me off guard as I hadn't considered it was something else. She said it was probably a cyst and cysts are common in children. But since it is the mid line of his neck she felt it should be check out. She ordered a CT scan for him. He just had it done this morning. It was a CT scan with contrast so they had to start and IV. Alex wasn't very excited about the IV. I had gotten him over the concept of the CT scan. At first I told him he had to have a Cat scan and he would go through a machine. To this he said no I don't want to be turned into a cat!! Once I showed him pictures on line and assured him he wouldn't become a cat he was okay having the test done.
Hopefully the test will come back that it is just a normal run of the mill cyst that we don't need to worry about.
In good news Doug was promoted to Detective. He isn't sure he will like it because it takes him off patrol which he loves and puts him on a desk job with lots of paper work. I love the Detective job because it means he will work Tuesday through Friday 7-5!! Not only a normal shift but weekends off!! It will be so fabulous to have him home at night! The other good thing is it is a 5 year commitment. Not to say he couldn't get put into another position before he hit 5 years but it will be normal shifts for a few years anyway.
Well it's almost 1 am and I am sure this blog is full of errors due to my tired eyes. I will sign off and try to stay current.
April saw Ryan getting his first cold. That meant repeated visits to the ER and Pediatrician and an over night stay in the hospital. His cold wasn't that bad, but we were scared to death it would go into his lungs and he would stop breathing. As it turned out his cold consisted of just congestion of the nose and never went into his lungs.
In May, Ryan went to the lung doctor and she advised if I was in a hurry to get him off the oxygen she would try taking him off but she would rather wait another month. I didn't feel he was ready to be off the oxygen so we decided to keep him on another month. I know he could go without the oxygen for an extended period of time. When he was in the hospital for his cold the nurses wondered why he was on oxygen and asked if they could take him off and see how he did. They talked to the Dr. on call and he said fine as long as his pulse ox level didn't go below 92. So they took him off and for 5 hours he hovered around 92. I finally asked them to put him back on the oxgyen, he obviously still needed it.
Ryan had other plans though, May 30th he ripped his nasal cannula out of his nose so hard that he tore one of the pads off his face that keep the cannula on. The pad took with it some of his skin. At the time I was in a class and I didn't have another set of pads to put back on him. Besides I would feel really bad putting the pad over the damaged skin. I knew he could be off oxygen after out experience at the hospital so I left him off while I was there. At the time we had stopped using the pulse ox monitor and we didn't have any probes to use it anyway. I would have liked to check his oxygen level once I got home but I couldn't. I didn't feel comfortable leaving him off the oxygen permanently so I hooked him back up when he went to bed. When he woke up the next morning he had the cannula under his chin instead of in his nose. I put it back in his nose and he again ripped the cannula and a pad off. Thankfully the pad that he tore off this time was the one he didn't rip off the day before. Since it was older and the sticky stuff wears off, it came off without taking any skin with it. So I left him off that day as well. I put him back on that night though.
This went on for another day before we got probes for the pulse ox monitor. Once we got the probes I checked his oxygen level. He had already been off oxygen for several hours when I checked it and he registered 98. I left him on the monitor for a little while but once I could see he was doing fine I took him off. At that point we called the lung doctor and told them what was going on and asked them to order the test. The test is an over night pulse ox test to ensure that he is keeping his levels up. To make a long story short, between the doctor and the oxygen company who had to bring the unit to do the test it took almost 30 days to get that test completed. Finally we performed the test and hear back from the doctor. She said his levels were great and he was definitely ready to be off the oxygen.
Thankfully we got the test done before he got his second cold. We completed the test Friday night, Saturday morning the congestion started. Now if the oxygen people would come pick up their stuff we could be done with this whole mess!!
In other developments... Once Ryan was off the oxygen we could actually put him down in his own crib to sleep. No more bassinet in the living room of chaos! Once he could stretch out in his big bed he started sleeping all night. We are talking 8-12 hours a night. At first this freaked me out, who am I kidding it still freaks me out. At least when he woke up every couple of hours I knew he was alright. Now I just have to constantly check on him. It makes me a little neurotic, of course Doug would say I am a lot neurotic all the time without things like this. Oh well it takes some neurotics to make the world go round.
Ryan is a very good, very happy baby. He doesn't cry much. He like to talk to anyone who will listen to his story. He love his daddy and his brothers. He gets excited with his whole body when he sees daddy. Of course he gets excited like that when strangers talk to him. He is just a sweet happy baby. It scares me to think we might have lost him. It scares me that we might still lose him. Overall he seems normal. His development is where it should be based on his due date. Actually based on the due date he is about 1 month ahead. He goes and sees the eye doctor next week to make sure his eyes still look normal. He will also see the lung doctor and pediatrician again. I just keep praying that God stays with him and helps him continue to do well.
Of course if it isn't Ryan, it's somebody else. All of the boys saw the eye doctor and Andrew was prescribed glasses. He only has a minor distance prescription but the doctor felt it was necessary. Alex and Tyler had similar prescriptions but based on their age they were not given glasses. The eye doctor said they could out grow the near-sightedness and not need glasses in a few years. Andrew could out grow his as well, but since he needs to see in school he was prescribed the glasses.
I took Alex to the doctor because he seems to be developing and Adam's Apple. Call me crazy but that seemed a little strange in a four year old. I asked the doctor why he was getting his Adam's Apple and she said that isn't an Adam's Apple. This caught me off guard as I hadn't considered it was something else. She said it was probably a cyst and cysts are common in children. But since it is the mid line of his neck she felt it should be check out. She ordered a CT scan for him. He just had it done this morning. It was a CT scan with contrast so they had to start and IV. Alex wasn't very excited about the IV. I had gotten him over the concept of the CT scan. At first I told him he had to have a Cat scan and he would go through a machine. To this he said no I don't want to be turned into a cat!! Once I showed him pictures on line and assured him he wouldn't become a cat he was okay having the test done.
Hopefully the test will come back that it is just a normal run of the mill cyst that we don't need to worry about.
In good news Doug was promoted to Detective. He isn't sure he will like it because it takes him off patrol which he loves and puts him on a desk job with lots of paper work. I love the Detective job because it means he will work Tuesday through Friday 7-5!! Not only a normal shift but weekends off!! It will be so fabulous to have him home at night! The other good thing is it is a 5 year commitment. Not to say he couldn't get put into another position before he hit 5 years but it will be normal shifts for a few years anyway.
Well it's almost 1 am and I am sure this blog is full of errors due to my tired eyes. I will sign off and try to stay current.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Be quite you'll wake the baby!!
I feel like I say that all day long. If the baby could go to his own room it wouldn't be so bad but he has to stay in the living room by the oxygen, where everyone else is. Ryan is doing great though. I on the other hand am barely surviving now that Doug is back to work. I am in the new baby, sleep, eat, feed the baby and try to survive mode. It is worse when you have other little ones that need to be taken care of. I though it would be better this week since Drew is out of school for spring break. To bad I forgot about horse camp, everyday this week from 8:30 to 12:30.
I also thought it would be better since we don't have to worry about him getting exposed to an illness and bringing it home. But guess who got exposed... Mom. I don't know where or how but I got a stomach virus. So now I have to try and stay away from the baby while still nursing and taking care of him. My darling husband took the night shift last night so I could get a full night sleep and hopefully feel better. I just don't understand why he thinks he has to stay up all night. I mean really the baby sleeps why can't he? So this morning when I still don't feel well and just want to curl up in bed and die my husband is sleeping because he didn't get any sleep last night!!
Ryan is over 8 pounds now. He is nursing well, but still taking a bottle of formula about twice a day. The nice thing is daddy can give him a bottle. This works well when I have to leave the house since I can't take the baby with me. He has a pretty steady routine as well. He is awake for a little while in the morning then sleeps and eats until about 10 pm when he is awake again for a couple of hours. He is pretty much just waking up once a night to eat usually between 2 and 3 am then again around 6 or 7 am. Again I don't know why daddy couldn't have gotten some sleep with that schedule.
Ryan is still on oxygen. I lowered his oxygen level last night as he was hanging in the 98-100 range on his blood oxygen. They want him closer to 95 so he isn't getting too much oxygen. He sees the chronic lung doctor next Tuesday so we will hopefully have a better idea then of how long he will need the oxygen. I can't wait until he is off, it will be so nice to be able to take him anywhere in the house I need to go. Also I have noticed that most people when they look at him just see the tube in his nose and they don't really see him. I don't notice the tube anymore. It has become part of his face to me. I know this because when I have changed the tubes and he doesn't have it on, he looks strange.
We are all just hanging in there. Time goes by so fast, it has already been 3 weeks since Ryan came home. On the 4th of April he hit is due date so we are no longer in negative time. Negative time is how I look at the 12 weeks before his due date. From here we will move forward and get past this time in our lives.
I also thought it would be better since we don't have to worry about him getting exposed to an illness and bringing it home. But guess who got exposed... Mom. I don't know where or how but I got a stomach virus. So now I have to try and stay away from the baby while still nursing and taking care of him. My darling husband took the night shift last night so I could get a full night sleep and hopefully feel better. I just don't understand why he thinks he has to stay up all night. I mean really the baby sleeps why can't he? So this morning when I still don't feel well and just want to curl up in bed and die my husband is sleeping because he didn't get any sleep last night!!
Ryan is over 8 pounds now. He is nursing well, but still taking a bottle of formula about twice a day. The nice thing is daddy can give him a bottle. This works well when I have to leave the house since I can't take the baby with me. He has a pretty steady routine as well. He is awake for a little while in the morning then sleeps and eats until about 10 pm when he is awake again for a couple of hours. He is pretty much just waking up once a night to eat usually between 2 and 3 am then again around 6 or 7 am. Again I don't know why daddy couldn't have gotten some sleep with that schedule.
Ryan is still on oxygen. I lowered his oxygen level last night as he was hanging in the 98-100 range on his blood oxygen. They want him closer to 95 so he isn't getting too much oxygen. He sees the chronic lung doctor next Tuesday so we will hopefully have a better idea then of how long he will need the oxygen. I can't wait until he is off, it will be so nice to be able to take him anywhere in the house I need to go. Also I have noticed that most people when they look at him just see the tube in his nose and they don't really see him. I don't notice the tube anymore. It has become part of his face to me. I know this because when I have changed the tubes and he doesn't have it on, he looks strange.
We are all just hanging in there. Time goes by so fast, it has already been 3 weeks since Ryan came home. On the 4th of April he hit is due date so we are no longer in negative time. Negative time is how I look at the 12 weeks before his due date. From here we will move forward and get past this time in our lives.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Living la vida loco!
I forgot how crazy it is to have a new baby in the house. Let me go back over the last 6 days and catch you up.
Tuesday March 17th we were scheduled to room in at the hospital (that means we have to stay overnight in a room with the baby to prove we can handle the equipment). We arrived at the hospital around 12:45 pm so we could meet with the medical supply company who would be supplying Ryan's oxygen equipment at 1 pm. Of course they didn't get to the hospital until all most 2 pm. We moved Ryan into the rooming in room which is in the NICU but is set up like a hotel room. A cheap hotel room with a hid-a-bed.
The equipment guy set up an oxygen compressor (that's a unit that takes room air and compress the oxygen before delivering it to the patient) and showed us how to use portable oxygen tanks for going out. They also set us up with a pulse ox monitor. That is the little light probe they put on your finger if your an adult (your foot if your a baby) that measure the amount of oxygen in your blood. The company rep then rushed out the door before making sure all was well, which it wasn't.
The pulse ox monitor keep alarming that Ryan didn't have enough oxygen. We had him turned up to 200 cc of oxygen and we still couldn't raise his pulse ox. Keep in mind when he was hooked to the oxygen in the NICU he was only on 75 cc's and that was just 10 minutes before. So we hooked up the portable oxygen tank to see where he was at and on 100 cc of oxygen (the tank only does 50 or 100 not 75) he pulse ox was back where it should be. So we called the equipment guy and told him things weren't working.
He came back to the NICU and checked the compressor and decided it wasn't working so he replaced it and quickly left again before making sure the rest of the equipment was working. So we hooked him back to the compressor and still we had problems. We changed the probe on his foot to the pulse ox monitor and that helped some but he was still needing way too much oxygen. So we called the guy back again. This time our nurse read him the riot act and told him to check all the equipment and not leave until it was all working. This time he replaced the flow meter (the part that adjusts how much oxygen Ryan is getting) and finally that seemed to fix the problem.
Finally we could settle in for the night to see how well we could take care of our baby. Little did we know our equipment issues weren't over. As we tried to fall asleep the monitor keep alarming, sometimes he was too high sometimes too low. We also had his oxygen at 100 cc's which was more then he had been on. I was afraid if we turned him up more the nurses would decide he wasn't ready to go home. Doug and I spent the whole night pressing the pause on the alarm which made it not go off for 3 minutes. One of us had to stay awake at all times to press the alarm pause. We decided to take 3 hour shifts where one of us slept and one hit the button. Although you really can't sleep when the alarm is going off anyway. It sounds like an air horn in the middle of the night.
The next morning we talked to the nurse and told her what was going on and she said the feared words maybe Ryan wasn't ready to go home. She offered to take Ryan back in the NICU and hook him up to their equipment so see if it was our equipment or him that was the problem. Meanwhile we could get some much needed sleep. I agreed and passed out.
When I woke up several hours later I went in to see how Ryan was doing. He was sound asleep on 75 cc's of oxygen with a stable pulse ox. The nurse said looks like it is your equipment. So we brought our pulse ox monitor in and hook it up on one of his feet and the NICU's monitor to the other to see if it was right. Ours fluctuated more then theirs did, but they were pretty close. Next step was to check our oxygen. We brought the compressor in and hooked it up in place of the pure oxygen in the NICU. We found that the compressed air isn't the same as pure oxygen. Sounds like common sense doesn't it, why didn't we think of that? Instead of 75 cc's of pure oxygen he needed 125cc's of compressed oxygen, another problem solved.
The last issue was that stupid alarm on the pluse ox monitor. The doctor had ordered it to alarm at 98 and above and 90 and below. When he was in the NICU the alarms were set at 100 and 84 and he hardly ever alarmed. At 90-98 he set off the alarm all the time. So we made the doctor listen to our really annoying alarm and see how often it went off and she agreed to change the alarms to 86-100.
We discussed the oxygen issues with the doctor and where Ryan was at. The doctor felt if we were up to it it was still better to send Ryan home as he was getting old enough to need the 24/7 attention of his parents. She told us to go back and get some more sleep and they would get the oxygen people out to change the settings on the pluse ox monitor.
We did sleep a little longer and then started getting ready to go home. My parents were bringing the little boys back home the same day Ryan was coming home so we didn't want to stay all day in the NICU. We went over all the discharge info with the nurse, packed up and left. We got out of the NICU around 3:30 pm and headed home to start our lives again. My parents and the little boys were waiting for us at home. Tyler kept hugging us both and repeating "I missed you".
So now we are justing in a holding pattern. Ryan can't leave the house except to go to the doctor. So we can't all go anywhere. If Andrew didn't have to leave the house to go to school the peditrician would have told us all to avoid public contact. Hopefully Andrew won't bring any illness home. Of course we would still have to leave the house to go to the store so we can't avoid people all together.
Getting home didn't stop our equipment probelms either. They have had to send us more probes for the pluse ox monitor. Apparently they aren't meant to be worn 24/7 by a wiggly baby. They only last about 2 days before they completely die. We also had to get another flow meter. The hosptial added a water bottle to the compressor to humidify the water. It was the wrong one and it caused the flow meter to become filled with water and stop working. Thankfully we have the oxygen tanks as back up. Ryan will see the lung doctor sometime in the next month so hopefully we will have a better idea of when we can get rid of this equipment.
So that's our crazy life. Ryan is home and now we are staying up all night listening to the monitor beep when he moves too much or when he cries. Then staying up all day taking care of the other boys. Doug took 2 weeks off to help me out but as the first week ends I am wishing he had another 2 weeks off. The good news it Ryan will grow fast and we should be past this soon.
Tuesday March 17th we were scheduled to room in at the hospital (that means we have to stay overnight in a room with the baby to prove we can handle the equipment). We arrived at the hospital around 12:45 pm so we could meet with the medical supply company who would be supplying Ryan's oxygen equipment at 1 pm. Of course they didn't get to the hospital until all most 2 pm. We moved Ryan into the rooming in room which is in the NICU but is set up like a hotel room. A cheap hotel room with a hid-a-bed.
The equipment guy set up an oxygen compressor (that's a unit that takes room air and compress the oxygen before delivering it to the patient) and showed us how to use portable oxygen tanks for going out. They also set us up with a pulse ox monitor. That is the little light probe they put on your finger if your an adult (your foot if your a baby) that measure the amount of oxygen in your blood. The company rep then rushed out the door before making sure all was well, which it wasn't.
The pulse ox monitor keep alarming that Ryan didn't have enough oxygen. We had him turned up to 200 cc of oxygen and we still couldn't raise his pulse ox. Keep in mind when he was hooked to the oxygen in the NICU he was only on 75 cc's and that was just 10 minutes before. So we hooked up the portable oxygen tank to see where he was at and on 100 cc of oxygen (the tank only does 50 or 100 not 75) he pulse ox was back where it should be. So we called the equipment guy and told him things weren't working.
He came back to the NICU and checked the compressor and decided it wasn't working so he replaced it and quickly left again before making sure the rest of the equipment was working. So we hooked him back to the compressor and still we had problems. We changed the probe on his foot to the pulse ox monitor and that helped some but he was still needing way too much oxygen. So we called the guy back again. This time our nurse read him the riot act and told him to check all the equipment and not leave until it was all working. This time he replaced the flow meter (the part that adjusts how much oxygen Ryan is getting) and finally that seemed to fix the problem.
Finally we could settle in for the night to see how well we could take care of our baby. Little did we know our equipment issues weren't over. As we tried to fall asleep the monitor keep alarming, sometimes he was too high sometimes too low. We also had his oxygen at 100 cc's which was more then he had been on. I was afraid if we turned him up more the nurses would decide he wasn't ready to go home. Doug and I spent the whole night pressing the pause on the alarm which made it not go off for 3 minutes. One of us had to stay awake at all times to press the alarm pause. We decided to take 3 hour shifts where one of us slept and one hit the button. Although you really can't sleep when the alarm is going off anyway. It sounds like an air horn in the middle of the night.
The next morning we talked to the nurse and told her what was going on and she said the feared words maybe Ryan wasn't ready to go home. She offered to take Ryan back in the NICU and hook him up to their equipment so see if it was our equipment or him that was the problem. Meanwhile we could get some much needed sleep. I agreed and passed out.
When I woke up several hours later I went in to see how Ryan was doing. He was sound asleep on 75 cc's of oxygen with a stable pulse ox. The nurse said looks like it is your equipment. So we brought our pulse ox monitor in and hook it up on one of his feet and the NICU's monitor to the other to see if it was right. Ours fluctuated more then theirs did, but they were pretty close. Next step was to check our oxygen. We brought the compressor in and hooked it up in place of the pure oxygen in the NICU. We found that the compressed air isn't the same as pure oxygen. Sounds like common sense doesn't it, why didn't we think of that? Instead of 75 cc's of pure oxygen he needed 125cc's of compressed oxygen, another problem solved.
The last issue was that stupid alarm on the pluse ox monitor. The doctor had ordered it to alarm at 98 and above and 90 and below. When he was in the NICU the alarms were set at 100 and 84 and he hardly ever alarmed. At 90-98 he set off the alarm all the time. So we made the doctor listen to our really annoying alarm and see how often it went off and she agreed to change the alarms to 86-100.
We discussed the oxygen issues with the doctor and where Ryan was at. The doctor felt if we were up to it it was still better to send Ryan home as he was getting old enough to need the 24/7 attention of his parents. She told us to go back and get some more sleep and they would get the oxygen people out to change the settings on the pluse ox monitor.
We did sleep a little longer and then started getting ready to go home. My parents were bringing the little boys back home the same day Ryan was coming home so we didn't want to stay all day in the NICU. We went over all the discharge info with the nurse, packed up and left. We got out of the NICU around 3:30 pm and headed home to start our lives again. My parents and the little boys were waiting for us at home. Tyler kept hugging us both and repeating "I missed you".
So now we are justing in a holding pattern. Ryan can't leave the house except to go to the doctor. So we can't all go anywhere. If Andrew didn't have to leave the house to go to school the peditrician would have told us all to avoid public contact. Hopefully Andrew won't bring any illness home. Of course we would still have to leave the house to go to the store so we can't avoid people all together.
Getting home didn't stop our equipment probelms either. They have had to send us more probes for the pluse ox monitor. Apparently they aren't meant to be worn 24/7 by a wiggly baby. They only last about 2 days before they completely die. We also had to get another flow meter. The hosptial added a water bottle to the compressor to humidify the water. It was the wrong one and it caused the flow meter to become filled with water and stop working. Thankfully we have the oxygen tanks as back up. Ryan will see the lung doctor sometime in the next month so hopefully we will have a better idea of when we can get rid of this equipment.
So that's our crazy life. Ryan is home and now we are staying up all night listening to the monitor beep when he moves too much or when he cries. Then staying up all day taking care of the other boys. Doug took 2 weeks off to help me out but as the first week ends I am wishing he had another 2 weeks off. The good news it Ryan will grow fast and we should be past this soon.
Monday, March 16, 2009
It's all coming together!!
So since my last post Ryan has made it over the last hurdle. He stated taking all his feedings about Friday the 13th. On Saturday they were talking like maybe he could room in on Monday night. (Rooming in means we have to spend the night in the hospital to prove we can take care of him and handle the oxygen equipment he will be coming home on) However when I got the hospital Sunday they were testing him for more bacterial and viral infections because he had a really nasty diaper that they thought was suspicious. The doctor that was on Sunday didn't seem to think he was sick but he also didn't seem on board with Ryan going home. He increased his feeding amount from 50 mls to 55 mls. He also changed his feeding from being 55 mls per feeding to however much he wanted each feeding as long as it totaled 220 mls every 12 hours. While that sounds good it actually puts more pressure on him. His first feeding this morning he only took 30 mls and 55 at the next. That left he needing to take 140 mls over the next 2 feedings. The nurse gave him 70 each feed and I worked that little baby until he drank it all! He was so stuffed everytime he moved he spit up. But I wasn't going to let him fail. Failing means we have to stay longer at the hospital.
I was there when the doctor did rounds this morning. (not the same doctor he saw yesterday) She asked me how things were going and I said great we are hoping to get out of here soon. She asked me if they had been talking about him going home. I said they had, it was orignially Monday and then I heard Wednesday. She didn't really take the bait like I had hoped she would. She moved on to the next baby and then came back to get Ryan's chart to do her report. She asked me about my other boys and I told her that my two little ones had been at my mom's house since Ryan was born and that they are coming home this Wednesday and we were hoping to have everyone coming home about the same time. That bait she took, she said she better check to see if we could room in Tuesday night so that Ryan could go home Wednesday. We are offically scheduled to room in tomorrow provided nothing goes wrong between now and then.
Ryan will be going home on oxygen. They ordered what we needed today from the medical supply company. We have to be at the hospital by 1 pm tomorrow to get set up with the oxygen. Doug and I will stay the night in the hospital tomorrow night and prove to the nurses we can take care of Ryan and his oxygen needs and then we can go home Wednesday. Wow, I can't believe this day is finally here. Of course it scares me to death to think about having Ryan home and the other boys home. I know that God will give me strength to survive but I don't think it will be easy. I pray that Ryan doesn't have any major problems that would require him to be readmitted to the hospital or worse. I also pray that nothing happens in the next 24 hours to delay his home coming. We will keep you posted.
I was there when the doctor did rounds this morning. (not the same doctor he saw yesterday) She asked me how things were going and I said great we are hoping to get out of here soon. She asked me if they had been talking about him going home. I said they had, it was orignially Monday and then I heard Wednesday. She didn't really take the bait like I had hoped she would. She moved on to the next baby and then came back to get Ryan's chart to do her report. She asked me about my other boys and I told her that my two little ones had been at my mom's house since Ryan was born and that they are coming home this Wednesday and we were hoping to have everyone coming home about the same time. That bait she took, she said she better check to see if we could room in Tuesday night so that Ryan could go home Wednesday. We are offically scheduled to room in tomorrow provided nothing goes wrong between now and then.
Ryan will be going home on oxygen. They ordered what we needed today from the medical supply company. We have to be at the hospital by 1 pm tomorrow to get set up with the oxygen. Doug and I will stay the night in the hospital tomorrow night and prove to the nurses we can take care of Ryan and his oxygen needs and then we can go home Wednesday. Wow, I can't believe this day is finally here. Of course it scares me to death to think about having Ryan home and the other boys home. I know that God will give me strength to survive but I don't think it will be easy. I pray that Ryan doesn't have any major problems that would require him to be readmitted to the hospital or worse. I also pray that nothing happens in the next 24 hours to delay his home coming. We will keep you posted.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
So close yet so far away!
I am ready for Ryan to come home. One of these days I am just going to grab him and run. Think they will arrest me for stealing my own baby? I am starting to feel held hostage. Ryan is so close, he just has to taking all his feedings from the bottle. I mean really is this so hard? Lots of babies do it? I realize he shouldn't even be born yet but how long can you use that excuse?
Now Andrew has the flu and I am afraid I will infect Ryan by going to the hospital even though I don't have it. I can't stand the thought of not going to the hospital though. Ryan already avoided getting the bacterial infection going around the NICU, I would hate to be the one who made him sick. I am glad that none of the other boys are here to get the flu.
The ophthalmologist saw Ryan on the 10th. He said that his eyes are fully mature and he didn't see any problems with the development of his eyes. They are still following his liver dysfunction and it isn't getting any better, if anything it is worse. They have started him on a medication that will hopefully correct the problem and restore normal function. If this medication doesn't work they have told me there are others they can try. Beyond that I don't know where this could go.
They are working towards him coming home. They are starting to tell me how to take over his care. The doctor ordered that he take the car seat challenge. That means they put him in his car seat for 90 minutes and monitor him. If he has problems while in the car seat they will know if he needs more oxygen while traveling or if he needs a car bed to be transported in. I am taking their preemie infant CPR class tomorrow.
The next step is just his feedings. If he would only start taking all his feedings. I don't know if it is him or the nurses or a combination of both. I can't be there for every feeding so I don't know how hard they try. They only give him 30 minutes to take his whole feeding too. They say that after 30 minutes he is burning more calories then he is taking in so it isn't worth it to force the feeding. Right now they put the rest of his feed down a tube into his stomach. Of course they won't send him home needing that so he has to learn to eat. I can usually get him to take his whole feed but not always. When he comes home I don't want to be giving him bottles anyway. I am hoping he will breastfeed, but I will do whatever they want us to do so we can get out of the hospital. Once he is home I can work all the details out with the pediatrician.
Please pray that Ryan takes all his feedings. It is the last hurdle to coming home.
Now Andrew has the flu and I am afraid I will infect Ryan by going to the hospital even though I don't have it. I can't stand the thought of not going to the hospital though. Ryan already avoided getting the bacterial infection going around the NICU, I would hate to be the one who made him sick. I am glad that none of the other boys are here to get the flu.
The ophthalmologist saw Ryan on the 10th. He said that his eyes are fully mature and he didn't see any problems with the development of his eyes. They are still following his liver dysfunction and it isn't getting any better, if anything it is worse. They have started him on a medication that will hopefully correct the problem and restore normal function. If this medication doesn't work they have told me there are others they can try. Beyond that I don't know where this could go.
They are working towards him coming home. They are starting to tell me how to take over his care. The doctor ordered that he take the car seat challenge. That means they put him in his car seat for 90 minutes and monitor him. If he has problems while in the car seat they will know if he needs more oxygen while traveling or if he needs a car bed to be transported in. I am taking their preemie infant CPR class tomorrow.
The next step is just his feedings. If he would only start taking all his feedings. I don't know if it is him or the nurses or a combination of both. I can't be there for every feeding so I don't know how hard they try. They only give him 30 minutes to take his whole feeding too. They say that after 30 minutes he is burning more calories then he is taking in so it isn't worth it to force the feeding. Right now they put the rest of his feed down a tube into his stomach. Of course they won't send him home needing that so he has to learn to eat. I can usually get him to take his whole feed but not always. When he comes home I don't want to be giving him bottles anyway. I am hoping he will breastfeed, but I will do whatever they want us to do so we can get out of the hospital. Once he is home I can work all the details out with the pediatrician.
Please pray that Ryan takes all his feedings. It is the last hurdle to coming home.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
I am ready to quit!!
I wish I could call in sick and tired for this job. Things were going so well and now a new problem. The NICU has a c-diff infection going around. We have to wear gowns and gloves to hold our babies. Ryan is in isolation with about 4 other kids because they have all been exposed to the bacteria. The sad thing is this bacteria is in fecal matter. That means that the nurses have not practiced good hygiene between babies. They have changed a diaper and not washed their hands and touch something that went into a babies mouth. It makes me angry and sad. I was feeling so good about Ryan's progress and now I just want to cry when I see him. He doesn't seem sick to me but the pediatrician thinks he has the infection. The culture will be back tomorrow sometime to confrim if he does or doesn't have the infection. If he does it will be 7 days on antibiotics to cure something he should have never gotten in the first place.
They told me I have to bleach all the clothes that Ryan has worn at the hospital. I am sure they will look great after that! I might as well throw them away. Hopefully he won't have the infection and I won't have to worry about all of this. I hate to think of my sweet little guy being sick and in pain.
They told me I have to bleach all the clothes that Ryan has worn at the hospital. I am sure they will look great after that! I might as well throw them away. Hopefully he won't have the infection and I won't have to worry about all of this. I hate to think of my sweet little guy being sick and in pain.
Friday, March 6, 2009
The current drama
I posted video of Ryan on my facebook profile. I can't figure out how to post a video in here so if you want to see it I guess you will have to check it out on facebook or e-mail me for it.
Ryan is getting better and worse at the same time. His feedings are doing pretty good. He isn't taking his whole bottle at most feedings but he is taking at least half or more. He takes the whole bottle probably once in a 24 hour period. Considering he is only 35 weeks gestation and the suck/swallow/breathe reflex doesn't develop until 34 weeks he is doing pretty good.
His set back is with his lungs. I read in the doctors notes today he is diagnosed as having Chronic Lung Disease. From what I have read that is common in preemies who had to be on a respirator for an extended period of time and their lung tissue can regenerate by the age of 2 or 3. Which will be great in 2 or 3 years but for now we have to deal with daily ups and downs. They took him off the diuretic 3 days ago and yesterday he was looking swollen and today he is slightly more swollen. The doctor ordered 2 doses of Lasix to help remove the excess water in his body. That should help his lungs work better again, but it seems to me that he can't make it without the Lasix. Everytime they take it away he goes right back to where he was and then they give it again he gets better.
This is a huge set back to me. I can see the goal slipping further and further away. I am suddenly feeling really tired and drained. I know he could make a sudden turn for the better and be back on track to come home soon, but it doesn't seem like that is going to happen. I think I want off this roller coaster!! My little boys at my mom's house are starting to ask about coming home. My parents are ready for them to leave and we are really starting to miss them. I would love to have them come home but that just complicates life even more. Right now is when I can be of the most help to the nurses and Ryan. He is doing better and if I am there I get to do all the normal mommy things. Diapers, bottles, baths and cuddling. It kills me to not be there for those things. If the little boys come home then I have to either stay home or work out childcare. I don't want to have to do either of those things it is crazy enough to figure out childcare for Andrew. I can't let myself get stress, I am too close to the finish line. I have to rely on God and all of you praying to see me through. I know I can make it with God by my side.
Thank you to all of you for continuing to pray for us. We are so grateful.
P.S. Check out Ryans new pictures at the bottom.
Ryan is getting better and worse at the same time. His feedings are doing pretty good. He isn't taking his whole bottle at most feedings but he is taking at least half or more. He takes the whole bottle probably once in a 24 hour period. Considering he is only 35 weeks gestation and the suck/swallow/breathe reflex doesn't develop until 34 weeks he is doing pretty good.
His set back is with his lungs. I read in the doctors notes today he is diagnosed as having Chronic Lung Disease. From what I have read that is common in preemies who had to be on a respirator for an extended period of time and their lung tissue can regenerate by the age of 2 or 3. Which will be great in 2 or 3 years but for now we have to deal with daily ups and downs. They took him off the diuretic 3 days ago and yesterday he was looking swollen and today he is slightly more swollen. The doctor ordered 2 doses of Lasix to help remove the excess water in his body. That should help his lungs work better again, but it seems to me that he can't make it without the Lasix. Everytime they take it away he goes right back to where he was and then they give it again he gets better.
This is a huge set back to me. I can see the goal slipping further and further away. I am suddenly feeling really tired and drained. I know he could make a sudden turn for the better and be back on track to come home soon, but it doesn't seem like that is going to happen. I think I want off this roller coaster!! My little boys at my mom's house are starting to ask about coming home. My parents are ready for them to leave and we are really starting to miss them. I would love to have them come home but that just complicates life even more. Right now is when I can be of the most help to the nurses and Ryan. He is doing better and if I am there I get to do all the normal mommy things. Diapers, bottles, baths and cuddling. It kills me to not be there for those things. If the little boys come home then I have to either stay home or work out childcare. I don't want to have to do either of those things it is crazy enough to figure out childcare for Andrew. I can't let myself get stress, I am too close to the finish line. I have to rely on God and all of you praying to see me through. I know I can make it with God by my side.
Thank you to all of you for continuing to pray for us. We are so grateful.
P.S. Check out Ryans new pictures at the bottom.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Time flies when things are going good
I can't believe it has been 2 weeks since I blogged. So here is what is going on. Ryan is doing great. He weighs 5 lbs 7 ozs as of last night. He is still on oxygen and they are predicting that he will go home on oxygen. The good news is the nurses have started talking about him going home. He isn't quite there yet, I think another week or 2 but close! He is bottle feeding all that he can tolerate. That means when he gets tired and won't take a bottle they put it down his feeding tube. They just started letting him try taking a bottle every feeding yesterday and he has been tired. Hopefully today will be better. I don't agree with the hospitals policy of feeding every 3 hours day and night as it seems to make him tired and he doesn't get an extended period of rest but I can't change it.
Ryan is on low flow oxygen and we all think he will go home on oxygen, that seems to be common because of our altitude. They have started changing his protocol's though. He was getting specific vitamins that he was lacking as well as iron. Yesterday they changed it to multivitamins with iron that he could go home on. They reduced the calories they were adding to his milk from 24 to 22, it doesn't seem like much or a big deal but they won't send him home on fortified milk and the next step down is straight breast milk so that is in anticipation of him going home. They took him off Lasix as well, they won't send him home on Lasix but they could send him home on another diuretic if he continued to have fluid in his lungs. (Incase you are saying what is Lasix or diuretics they are drugs that help remove fluids from your body, so if you have swelling of your body or fluid in your lungs or heart that is what they give you to reduce it.)
Taking him off the Lasix could cause him to fail on his oxygen (fail meaning he would have to go back on high flow). If it does then they know he needs that drug for now and they can prescribe something he can take at home. It could delay his stay a little while they get his lungs back to where they need to be but it should be just a few days. In all reality if he got the feeding thing down and doesn't fail on his oxygen in the next few days, then they will keep him for a few more days to make sure he doesn't stop eating or have other issues and then he is ready to go him. Best case senario is he will be him next weekend. Of course it is all just speculation and could change at a moments notice. I am just excited we are finally to this point.
Ryan is on low flow oxygen and we all think he will go home on oxygen, that seems to be common because of our altitude. They have started changing his protocol's though. He was getting specific vitamins that he was lacking as well as iron. Yesterday they changed it to multivitamins with iron that he could go home on. They reduced the calories they were adding to his milk from 24 to 22, it doesn't seem like much or a big deal but they won't send him home on fortified milk and the next step down is straight breast milk so that is in anticipation of him going home. They took him off Lasix as well, they won't send him home on Lasix but they could send him home on another diuretic if he continued to have fluid in his lungs. (Incase you are saying what is Lasix or diuretics they are drugs that help remove fluids from your body, so if you have swelling of your body or fluid in your lungs or heart that is what they give you to reduce it.)
Taking him off the Lasix could cause him to fail on his oxygen (fail meaning he would have to go back on high flow). If it does then they know he needs that drug for now and they can prescribe something he can take at home. It could delay his stay a little while they get his lungs back to where they need to be but it should be just a few days. In all reality if he got the feeding thing down and doesn't fail on his oxygen in the next few days, then they will keep him for a few more days to make sure he doesn't stop eating or have other issues and then he is ready to go him. Best case senario is he will be him next weekend. Of course it is all just speculation and could change at a moments notice. I am just excited we are finally to this point.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Another small step back
Ryan is 4 pounds 10 ounces today. He is still on full feedings and they are adding a more calories to his milk to help him grow faster. Of course the extra calories make my breast milk more like formula and it upsets his tummy. He is kind of uncomfortable after they feed him.
He was doing great with his oxygen. They had him down to 2 liters of high flow oxygen at 30-35 % of oxygen going through his nasal cannula. He has done good with that for 2 days and today, he was up to 50% oxygen. They move him back up to 3 liters of high flow and his oxygen needs started to go down right away. Hopefully he will take a little rest with the higher oxygen and be ready to go down again.
They had to give him a blood transfusion 2 days ago. They were hoping that would help his oxygen needs go down. He was low on red blood cells and they are the cells that carry oxygen in the blood. The theory was that if he had more red blood cells his body could better oxygenate and he would need less oxygen. So far that hasn't been the case but maybe it will all kick in soon.
I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They haven't given me any kind of time frame but if things keep going like they are we should be able to bring him home in 3 or 4 weeks, at least that is what I think. I could be wrong, but I think by then he will be able to bottle feed and he should be on low enough oxygen we can bring him home on O2 if needed. In the meantime I am working on his bed room. I got it all painted and I am working on putting it all together. I should be done in another day or two so whenever Ryan is ready to come home he will have a place to go.
He was doing great with his oxygen. They had him down to 2 liters of high flow oxygen at 30-35 % of oxygen going through his nasal cannula. He has done good with that for 2 days and today, he was up to 50% oxygen. They move him back up to 3 liters of high flow and his oxygen needs started to go down right away. Hopefully he will take a little rest with the higher oxygen and be ready to go down again.
They had to give him a blood transfusion 2 days ago. They were hoping that would help his oxygen needs go down. He was low on red blood cells and they are the cells that carry oxygen in the blood. The theory was that if he had more red blood cells his body could better oxygenate and he would need less oxygen. So far that hasn't been the case but maybe it will all kick in soon.
I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They haven't given me any kind of time frame but if things keep going like they are we should be able to bring him home in 3 or 4 weeks, at least that is what I think. I could be wrong, but I think by then he will be able to bottle feed and he should be on low enough oxygen we can bring him home on O2 if needed. In the meantime I am working on his bed room. I got it all painted and I am working on putting it all together. I should be done in another day or two so whenever Ryan is ready to come home he will have a place to go.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
We seem to be turning a corner!
Ryan is doing great! He seems more and more like a normal baby everyday. He is getting stronger and bigger. 4 pounds 5 ounces today.
Unless he starts to have problems, he will be at full feedings tomorrow. He will be getting 32 mls of food every 3 hours. Once he is on full feedings they will take out his PICC line (IV). The doctor has that planned for tomorrow, again barring any complications with his feedings.
He had an eye exam and the ophthalmologist said his eyes were almost completely mature which he almost never sees at this age in a preemie. Yeah!! Hopefully that will mean no vision problems.
The last report I got on his brain bleeds was that they were resolving on their own and they would follow up with an ultrasound at approximately 1 month. I asked the nurse today if that was scheduled, he is 1 month old today and it wasn't. She checked with the doctor though and they have it ordered so hopefully I will know the results tomorrow.
He is still having trouble with his lungs. They only have him on High Flow O2 again which is good. So far he has been staying between 30 and 38% oxygen. That is much better then where he was. He is even doing well breathing while lying on his back, which has been an issue for him. He has to stay below 25% oxygen for an extended period before they will drop him down from 4 liters to 3 liters high flow oxygen. Once he is on 3 liters and can keep his oxygen needs down then they will go to 2 and 1 liters. After that he should be able to go off the oxygen all together.
Overall he is doing really well right now. Of course just when I get excited about his progress he makes a step backwards, but even if he does hopefully he can bounce back quickly.
At home I am getting ready for Ryan to come home. I have been painting his room. I have curtains to make and new things to hang on the wall. I have another day of painting at least and then I will be working on getting it all together. Then I have Tyler's room to finish as well. We are decorating his room with Mickey Mouse so I have another coat of red paint (it's called Mickey's Pants) to put on and then I should be able to do some finish work in there and I will have both their rooms put together. Or at least closer to being put together. I just know I have to finish their rooms while I have no little one's at home because when they come back I won't have any time.
Keep praying for Ryan's lungs and brain. Please pray for Alex and Tyler as well. I think Alex feels abandoned right now, he is having some behavior issues at Nana and Papa's house. Please pray they know they are loved by us and that they can feel at peace with what is going on.
Thank you!!
Unless he starts to have problems, he will be at full feedings tomorrow. He will be getting 32 mls of food every 3 hours. Once he is on full feedings they will take out his PICC line (IV). The doctor has that planned for tomorrow, again barring any complications with his feedings.
He had an eye exam and the ophthalmologist said his eyes were almost completely mature which he almost never sees at this age in a preemie. Yeah!! Hopefully that will mean no vision problems.
The last report I got on his brain bleeds was that they were resolving on their own and they would follow up with an ultrasound at approximately 1 month. I asked the nurse today if that was scheduled, he is 1 month old today and it wasn't. She checked with the doctor though and they have it ordered so hopefully I will know the results tomorrow.
He is still having trouble with his lungs. They only have him on High Flow O2 again which is good. So far he has been staying between 30 and 38% oxygen. That is much better then where he was. He is even doing well breathing while lying on his back, which has been an issue for him. He has to stay below 25% oxygen for an extended period before they will drop him down from 4 liters to 3 liters high flow oxygen. Once he is on 3 liters and can keep his oxygen needs down then they will go to 2 and 1 liters. After that he should be able to go off the oxygen all together.
Overall he is doing really well right now. Of course just when I get excited about his progress he makes a step backwards, but even if he does hopefully he can bounce back quickly.
At home I am getting ready for Ryan to come home. I have been painting his room. I have curtains to make and new things to hang on the wall. I have another day of painting at least and then I will be working on getting it all together. Then I have Tyler's room to finish as well. We are decorating his room with Mickey Mouse so I have another coat of red paint (it's called Mickey's Pants) to put on and then I should be able to do some finish work in there and I will have both their rooms put together. Or at least closer to being put together. I just know I have to finish their rooms while I have no little one's at home because when they come back I won't have any time.
Keep praying for Ryan's lungs and brain. Please pray for Alex and Tyler as well. I think Alex feels abandoned right now, he is having some behavior issues at Nana and Papa's house. Please pray they know they are loved by us and that they can feel at peace with what is going on.
Thank you!!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Long time no blog
I realized today that I forgot to blog. Then today was a bad day for Ryan so that makes me want to blog about it anyway. I guess it is easier to blog when things are bad then good.
Since my last blog, Ryan has been on high flow oxygen. His oxygen requirement has been between 40 and 45% most of the time. He has still been eating. He has been tolerating his feedings pretty well. He has gotten bumped up to 8 mls every 3 hours. So far that seems to be working well. Of course he should be eating about 28 mls every 3 hours for his size. 8 down 20 to go.
While things hadn't been progressing forward we weren't going back either. The past 2 days however Ryan has been slowly going up on his oxygen requirements. He was having a harder time breathing, they think because he has fluid in his lungs. He has been gaining a lot of weight, more weight then he should be gaining from food so they assume it is fluid. His chest x-rays are still cloudy, which is also conclusive with fluid in the lungs. They have given him Lasix to help his body rid it's self of fluid and that has helped some, but it has still been hard for him to breath.
Today he was on 60% oxygen so the doctor decided to put him on CPAP again. My poor little baby hates being on CPAP. When I got to the hospital today he had only been on CPAP about 30 minutes. His oxygen was down in the 40's at that time. In the next 30 minutes they put him on his tummy and his oxygen went down in to the 30's. Then he went back up into the 40's and back down. Then he woke up, did I mention he hates CPAP. He cried and cried until he had worn himself out and went back to sleep. I decided at that point to leave while he was asleep and his oxygen levels were good. I hate to leave when he is upset or having trouble. I knew if I waited until 6 pm (which was in 45 minutes) that things wouldn't be as good and I would be upset to leave. They kick us out of the NICU at 6 pm for shift change.
Wow so much has happened since I last blogged and today it was all gone. They were dressing Ryan in clothes and swaddling him. He seemed to really like that but they stopped today when he was breathing so hard. They had to be able to see his body.
I was holding Ryan. At first I held him in the crook of my arm on his back and he responded well. After 2 or 3 times though, he started to do very poorly with that. His stats got very low and at one point he was at 90% oxygen while I was holding him. It was very nerve racking for me and I was ready to quit. The next day Ryan had a new nurse. She had heard how badly the holdings were going. I told her I was going to quit holding him for a while until he got older. She said she hadn't seen it for herself and she wanted to see if she could fix things so they went better. This was actually really nice to hear. None of the other nurses seem to care and were quick to want me to put him back when things didn't go well. She wondered if I held him on my chest up towards my shoulder (like you would to burp a baby) if that would help. Since he is so happy lying on his chest this would be a similar position. I had wondered the same thing but the other nurses didn't seem to share my curiosity. Well long story short, it worked great!! Ryan's stats stayed up, he didn't require more oxygen and he really seem to enjoy it. He would wake up and stare at me while I held him. After a while he would fall sound asleep. I can't tell you what a wonderful feeling this was.
Of course now it is over for a while. His nurse today has no interest in letting me hold him. I don't blame her because he was having breathing problems, but when he got upset over the CPAP I think holding him would have been exactly what he needed.
So I am back to a naked baby I can't hold. I don't want to put my needs before his. I don't have to hold him, it is more important to me that he gets stronger and his lungs mature. I don't care if he is dressed in clothes he is just as cute with out them, but is was so nice for a breif time to feel like he was a real baby. Too feel like we were getting closer to having him home. I know we will be back there again some day, I was just hoping we wouldn't have to go backwards on these things.
Since my last blog, Ryan has been on high flow oxygen. His oxygen requirement has been between 40 and 45% most of the time. He has still been eating. He has been tolerating his feedings pretty well. He has gotten bumped up to 8 mls every 3 hours. So far that seems to be working well. Of course he should be eating about 28 mls every 3 hours for his size. 8 down 20 to go.
While things hadn't been progressing forward we weren't going back either. The past 2 days however Ryan has been slowly going up on his oxygen requirements. He was having a harder time breathing, they think because he has fluid in his lungs. He has been gaining a lot of weight, more weight then he should be gaining from food so they assume it is fluid. His chest x-rays are still cloudy, which is also conclusive with fluid in the lungs. They have given him Lasix to help his body rid it's self of fluid and that has helped some, but it has still been hard for him to breath.
Today he was on 60% oxygen so the doctor decided to put him on CPAP again. My poor little baby hates being on CPAP. When I got to the hospital today he had only been on CPAP about 30 minutes. His oxygen was down in the 40's at that time. In the next 30 minutes they put him on his tummy and his oxygen went down in to the 30's. Then he went back up into the 40's and back down. Then he woke up, did I mention he hates CPAP. He cried and cried until he had worn himself out and went back to sleep. I decided at that point to leave while he was asleep and his oxygen levels were good. I hate to leave when he is upset or having trouble. I knew if I waited until 6 pm (which was in 45 minutes) that things wouldn't be as good and I would be upset to leave. They kick us out of the NICU at 6 pm for shift change.
Wow so much has happened since I last blogged and today it was all gone. They were dressing Ryan in clothes and swaddling him. He seemed to really like that but they stopped today when he was breathing so hard. They had to be able to see his body.
I was holding Ryan. At first I held him in the crook of my arm on his back and he responded well. After 2 or 3 times though, he started to do very poorly with that. His stats got very low and at one point he was at 90% oxygen while I was holding him. It was very nerve racking for me and I was ready to quit. The next day Ryan had a new nurse. She had heard how badly the holdings were going. I told her I was going to quit holding him for a while until he got older. She said she hadn't seen it for herself and she wanted to see if she could fix things so they went better. This was actually really nice to hear. None of the other nurses seem to care and were quick to want me to put him back when things didn't go well. She wondered if I held him on my chest up towards my shoulder (like you would to burp a baby) if that would help. Since he is so happy lying on his chest this would be a similar position. I had wondered the same thing but the other nurses didn't seem to share my curiosity. Well long story short, it worked great!! Ryan's stats stayed up, he didn't require more oxygen and he really seem to enjoy it. He would wake up and stare at me while I held him. After a while he would fall sound asleep. I can't tell you what a wonderful feeling this was.
Of course now it is over for a while. His nurse today has no interest in letting me hold him. I don't blame her because he was having breathing problems, but when he got upset over the CPAP I think holding him would have been exactly what he needed.
So I am back to a naked baby I can't hold. I don't want to put my needs before his. I don't have to hold him, it is more important to me that he gets stronger and his lungs mature. I don't care if he is dressed in clothes he is just as cute with out them, but is was so nice for a breif time to feel like he was a real baby. Too feel like we were getting closer to having him home. I know we will be back there again some day, I was just hoping we wouldn't have to go backwards on these things.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Ryan is off the CPAP and back on high flow oxygen. His oxygen requirements are lower this time. Last time he was on high flow he needed between 50 and 60% oxygen. Today his oxygen needs were between 40 and 45%. He doesn't seem to be working as hard to breath this time. Hopefully the CPAP gave his body enough of a break that he will take off from here and get stronger and be able to wean off the O2 soon.
They are still having some problems with his feedings. They are still only giving him 1 ml but they bumped it up to every 3 hours instead of every 6 hours. The doctor is hoping that will jump start his digestive system. I hope so because I have enough milk in my freezer to feed all the kids in the NICU.
The next concern are the bleeds in his brain. He has a bleed on both sides of his brain. There are 4 levels of brain bleeds and his are level 2 which is better then 4. The bleeds haven't gotten into his brain tissue yet which is a good thing. If they do get into the brain tissue then they start talking about cerebral palsy. I am letting that fear and worry go to God. It is such an over whelming thought I can't handle that one myself.
I am hanging in there. I am planning on staying at the Ronald McDonald House on Tuesday night so that I can have a whole day at the hospital. I will see how that goes and I may make it a weekly thing. I do have my first social event scheduled. I am going to Bunco on Monday night. I figure I need to get back into my life.
Maybe getting back into my life will help my brain work better. I had to drive back to the hospital last night after already being there because I left some parts of my breast pump at the hospital. But it was God's plan, I got to have a date with my sweet boy. We went out to dinner and he got a new toy to play with at the hospital while I went into the NICU. He isn't allowed in as he is under 12. I knew I couldn't go in the NICU and grab my stuff and leave without spending a few moments with Ryan, so I had to make sure he had something to occupy his time with. Of course the nurse wanted to know if I wanted to hold Ryan. Since his day nurse hadn't let me hold him I would have loved to but they want you to commit to an hour and I couldn't do that to Andrew. We had a good evening though and Andrew got to check out the hospital cafeteria which sounded like the most interesting part of the hospital to him.
They are still having some problems with his feedings. They are still only giving him 1 ml but they bumped it up to every 3 hours instead of every 6 hours. The doctor is hoping that will jump start his digestive system. I hope so because I have enough milk in my freezer to feed all the kids in the NICU.
The next concern are the bleeds in his brain. He has a bleed on both sides of his brain. There are 4 levels of brain bleeds and his are level 2 which is better then 4. The bleeds haven't gotten into his brain tissue yet which is a good thing. If they do get into the brain tissue then they start talking about cerebral palsy. I am letting that fear and worry go to God. It is such an over whelming thought I can't handle that one myself.
I am hanging in there. I am planning on staying at the Ronald McDonald House on Tuesday night so that I can have a whole day at the hospital. I will see how that goes and I may make it a weekly thing. I do have my first social event scheduled. I am going to Bunco on Monday night. I figure I need to get back into my life.
Maybe getting back into my life will help my brain work better. I had to drive back to the hospital last night after already being there because I left some parts of my breast pump at the hospital. But it was God's plan, I got to have a date with my sweet boy. We went out to dinner and he got a new toy to play with at the hospital while I went into the NICU. He isn't allowed in as he is under 12. I knew I couldn't go in the NICU and grab my stuff and leave without spending a few moments with Ryan, so I had to make sure he had something to occupy his time with. Of course the nurse wanted to know if I wanted to hold Ryan. Since his day nurse hadn't let me hold him I would have loved to but they want you to commit to an hour and I couldn't do that to Andrew. We had a good evening though and Andrew got to check out the hospital cafeteria which sounded like the most interesting part of the hospital to him.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Another step back
My poor baby Ryan had to go back on CPAP. He hates the CPAP device. It has this silicone triangle that fits over his nose. It has to be pulled tight against his face so that it can create enough pressure in his lungs. It has a harness that goes around his head to make it tight enough. It looks like a torture device. I was only able to be with him for 2 hours today and except for the 45 minutes I was holding him he was crying and fighting against the CPAP. I wish I could be there all day and night to hold him. He is so much more content when I am holding him.
Things a more or less the same with Ryan. His lungs still need help. He was breathing really fast and that is why they put him on CPAP because it makes it easier to breath. His breathing is still a little fast even on the CPAP. I asked the nurse if he would have to go back on the respirator if his breathing didn't slow down. She said he has to be showing more signs then fast breathing. If his heart rate is faster and showing signs of stress and if the oxygen level in his blood isn't good then they would look at putting him back on the vent. Right now both of those things are good and despite his fast breathing he is on less oxygen then he was on the high flow nasal canula.
They started his feedings again yesterday but it doesn't seem to be going well. I don't know how long they will keep trying the feedings this time. They don't want to force it because they said they could cause his digestive system to shut down if they force the feedings. It is so difficult, he only really has 2 issues right now and he can't seem to get past them. I know that he could be having many more problems and I should be thankful this is all he has wrong right now but it just breaks my heart that he is in distress. I wish I could fix it and make it better. That is a mothers job, take away the hurt for our babies. Not only can I not fix it for Ryan I can't fix it for my other boys. I took Andrew to Walmart tonight and he wanted to buy things for Ryan. He wanted to buy him clothes and a get well balloon, and it breaks my heart to tell him that Ryan doesn't need or can't have those things. I have bought him some clothes but I don't know how big he will be when he can wear clothes or even if he will ever wear clothes. I know that I shouldn't think like that but when I look at that tiny little boy having trouble breathing I can't help it.
Just so you all know, I am driving myself to Reno. It actually is a really nice time for me to be alone. I can listen to any music I want and sing as loud as I want or I can have quite time to think. I am off my pain meds so I don't have to worry about that but I have seem an unusual amount of police and highway patrol in the last week. I kind of feel like they are after me. There was even one in my neighborhood today pointing a radar gun at me. Of course I was speeding but he didn't come after me. I guess the Good Lord changed his mind. That's all I need is a speeding ticket!!
In closing please pray for Ryan's lungs and digestive system. I know that every one's prayers have gotten him this far and I know that we can bring him home with God's help.
Things a more or less the same with Ryan. His lungs still need help. He was breathing really fast and that is why they put him on CPAP because it makes it easier to breath. His breathing is still a little fast even on the CPAP. I asked the nurse if he would have to go back on the respirator if his breathing didn't slow down. She said he has to be showing more signs then fast breathing. If his heart rate is faster and showing signs of stress and if the oxygen level in his blood isn't good then they would look at putting him back on the vent. Right now both of those things are good and despite his fast breathing he is on less oxygen then he was on the high flow nasal canula.
They started his feedings again yesterday but it doesn't seem to be going well. I don't know how long they will keep trying the feedings this time. They don't want to force it because they said they could cause his digestive system to shut down if they force the feedings. It is so difficult, he only really has 2 issues right now and he can't seem to get past them. I know that he could be having many more problems and I should be thankful this is all he has wrong right now but it just breaks my heart that he is in distress. I wish I could fix it and make it better. That is a mothers job, take away the hurt for our babies. Not only can I not fix it for Ryan I can't fix it for my other boys. I took Andrew to Walmart tonight and he wanted to buy things for Ryan. He wanted to buy him clothes and a get well balloon, and it breaks my heart to tell him that Ryan doesn't need or can't have those things. I have bought him some clothes but I don't know how big he will be when he can wear clothes or even if he will ever wear clothes. I know that I shouldn't think like that but when I look at that tiny little boy having trouble breathing I can't help it.
Just so you all know, I am driving myself to Reno. It actually is a really nice time for me to be alone. I can listen to any music I want and sing as loud as I want or I can have quite time to think. I am off my pain meds so I don't have to worry about that but I have seem an unusual amount of police and highway patrol in the last week. I kind of feel like they are after me. There was even one in my neighborhood today pointing a radar gun at me. Of course I was speeding but he didn't come after me. I guess the Good Lord changed his mind. That's all I need is a speeding ticket!!
In closing please pray for Ryan's lungs and digestive system. I know that every one's prayers have gotten him this far and I know that we can bring him home with God's help.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Late night blogging again.
I can't seem to get to the computer before midnight. Oh my gosh it is 1:20 this maybe a quick blog.
Okay let's see, how long has it been since I blogged. It seems like so much has happened. On Saturday they removed Ryan from the ventilator. He was put on a high flow nasal canula, it doesn't breath for him, it just keeps a high flow of oxygen going into his lungs. Which means he is breathing on his own. On Sunday he was put onto a CPAP breathing assistance, which stands for continuous positive airway pressure. Both this and high flow keep his lungs from completely collapsing during exhale making it easier to breath. As of today they put him back on high flow. He needs more oxygen on high flow but they said it does less damage then the CPAP so they will probably go back and forth between the two. He still has pneumonia so he could go backwards and need to go back on the respirator, but as of now he has been breathing on his own for 3 days.
Ryan also got moved out of the open warmer bed into an isloette. Those are the boxes you normally think of with preemies with the port-holes to put your hand through. The isolette regulates his body temperture better the the open waremer bed. He just couldn't be in the isolette while he was on the rapid vent respirator.
I actually got to hold my little man tonight. Doug and I went to the hospital late today. Shortly after we got there the nurse asked if I had held him yet and I said no. She said they needed to change out his isolette for cleaning and I would need to hold him for about an hour while they changed beds and got the new one warmed up. He is so tiny and seems to weigh almost nothing. He was very calm while I held him. He opened his eyes for a while and checked us out. He did some sleeping and dreaming as well.
While he seems to be better, he still is having his issues. Right now besides his lung problems, his digestive tract is not working. They keep trying to feed him but his stomach is having problems processing any food. As of now he is no longer being fed any milk. That isn't to say they are starving him, he gets fats and all the nutrients he would get if he was still in the womb. His little body just can't process anything else. So please pray for his lungs to get over the pneumonia and start needing less help to breath and that his digestive system starts to work. Those are his two hurdles for now. I am sure they won't be his last two though.
Okay let's see, how long has it been since I blogged. It seems like so much has happened. On Saturday they removed Ryan from the ventilator. He was put on a high flow nasal canula, it doesn't breath for him, it just keeps a high flow of oxygen going into his lungs. Which means he is breathing on his own. On Sunday he was put onto a CPAP breathing assistance, which stands for continuous positive airway pressure. Both this and high flow keep his lungs from completely collapsing during exhale making it easier to breath. As of today they put him back on high flow. He needs more oxygen on high flow but they said it does less damage then the CPAP so they will probably go back and forth between the two. He still has pneumonia so he could go backwards and need to go back on the respirator, but as of now he has been breathing on his own for 3 days.
Ryan also got moved out of the open warmer bed into an isloette. Those are the boxes you normally think of with preemies with the port-holes to put your hand through. The isolette regulates his body temperture better the the open waremer bed. He just couldn't be in the isolette while he was on the rapid vent respirator.
I actually got to hold my little man tonight. Doug and I went to the hospital late today. Shortly after we got there the nurse asked if I had held him yet and I said no. She said they needed to change out his isolette for cleaning and I would need to hold him for about an hour while they changed beds and got the new one warmed up. He is so tiny and seems to weigh almost nothing. He was very calm while I held him. He opened his eyes for a while and checked us out. He did some sleeping and dreaming as well.
While he seems to be better, he still is having his issues. Right now besides his lung problems, his digestive tract is not working. They keep trying to feed him but his stomach is having problems processing any food. As of now he is no longer being fed any milk. That isn't to say they are starving him, he gets fats and all the nutrients he would get if he was still in the womb. His little body just can't process anything else. So please pray for his lungs to get over the pneumonia and start needing less help to breath and that his digestive system starts to work. Those are his two hurdles for now. I am sure they won't be his last two though.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Happy Birthday to me!
Yesterday was my birthday. Thanks to all who stopped by or called. Sorry I was not home, I was at the hospital. I had a rough birthday anyway. Ryan has an infection in his lungs. The doctor and nurse talked like it was no big deal and they started antibiotics so he should be better soon. It wasn't until the pharmacist came by and asked the nurse if they thought it was pneumonia and she said yes that I got concerned. All I can do is pray. I know God is with him, holding him and loving him but it is still hard to watch my tiny baby try to deal with all these things and not be able to help him. I went home yesterday emotionally drained and depressed. Today wasn't much better. I had to get up early and go to the doctor to have my incision checked. After seeing my doctor I went to the hospital to be with my baby. When we got there I was so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open. It is very warm in the NICU so that doesn't help when you are tired. Ryan seemed to be more bothered by our visit then comforted. He still isn't being fed. He still has a lot of mucus in his lungs. It was really more then I could deal with and we left the hospital after only about an hour and a half. I am not sure how I will be able to keep going and seeing him. It hurts so much that he is sick and no one can fix it. I feel like I need to be there with him and for him but touching him doesn't always help. It seems to cause him stress. I feel like I need to be watching him and letting the nurses know when he needs help but I can't be there all the time. My days are long and my night very short and I am so tired I am having trouble dealing with all of it. All I can do is pray for strength and peace. I am forgeting to lean on God and I am trying to deal on my own and I can't. I have to remember who is in control let go. I know that God did not bring this little boy into the world to die and I have to keep reminding myself that God will see us through.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Ryan is doing well.
Ryan did make a step forward today. He was off photo therapy, but they have discontinued his feedings for now. His digestive system is having trouble pushing the food through. Hopefully tomorrow they will be able to start again. He lost a few grams but is still weighing 2 lbs. 11 oz. The good news is they are gearing up to wean him off the respirator. They give him caffeine to encourage his breathing. They start with a high dose and then do smaller doses to keep his level even. Once they get to the point they can take him off the respirator they will give him another high dose just before they remove it. It sounds hopeful that could happen sometime this week. Of course he will probably still have breathing assistance, but once he is off the rigid respirator onto a more flexible one I will be able to pick him up. I can't wait for that to happen.
I guess that is a quick update. I am really exhausted though and I have not been able to get to bed before 1 am for several nights. It isn't that I can't sleep but I am on a pumping schedule to try and bring my milk production up so I have to stay up late and get one last pump in. Too bad my little one has been waking up at 6:45 every morning and expecting me to get up with him. I hate to say no as he has been without a mommy for over a month. He still doesn't understand why I won't pick him up and every time I leave he is concerned I won't come back. I try to spend as much time with him when I am here as I can to make up for lost time. So goodnight, I will hopefully have some new info on Ryan tomorrow.
I guess that is a quick update. I am really exhausted though and I have not been able to get to bed before 1 am for several nights. It isn't that I can't sleep but I am on a pumping schedule to try and bring my milk production up so I have to stay up late and get one last pump in. Too bad my little one has been waking up at 6:45 every morning and expecting me to get up with him. I hate to say no as he has been without a mommy for over a month. He still doesn't understand why I won't pick him up and every time I leave he is concerned I won't come back. I try to spend as much time with him when I am here as I can to make up for lost time. So goodnight, I will hopefully have some new info on Ryan tomorrow.
Monday, January 19, 2009
2 steps forward 1 step back
I was so excited yesterday that Ryan was no longer on photo therapy. Imagine my disappointment when I came in today and found him back on photo therapy. They said he will probably go on and off it for a while. I guess it is disappointing because they have to cover his eyes to protect them from the light. The covering pretty much cover his whole face and head so all you see is his mouth with the tubes coming out. I want to be able to see his beautiful face. His feeding are going well though. He did lose weight today not quite a ounce but he has he first dirty diaper so that could have been the ounce he lost. His body made an overnight change from being skin and bones to actually filling out and having some fat in there. He looked so much better from just having that little gain in fat. I am sure the feedings are helping with that.
Tonight he was getting his last dose of antibiotics so as of tomorrow he won't be on any kind of medication. He was getting a heart ultra sound today and a brain ultra sound tomorrow. They want to make sure his heart is doing okay as he has to go up and down on his oxygen needs several times a day. They are also following the small bleed in his brain that they found the first day. Hopefully that will have cleared it's self up.
I found out today it will be a while before I can drive again. I drove 4 blocks to the store and it was a lot harder then I thought. The drugs are effecting my brain function and even though I hadn't had a pill for several hours, I had a hard time making normal driving decisions. It also requires a lot of muscle strength that I seem to have lost from my bed rest. Good thing my mom is here for another week, hopefully I will be doing better before she leaves. I don't know what I will do when she leaves, it is nice to have live in help. I know that God will provide as he always does.
Tonight he was getting his last dose of antibiotics so as of tomorrow he won't be on any kind of medication. He was getting a heart ultra sound today and a brain ultra sound tomorrow. They want to make sure his heart is doing okay as he has to go up and down on his oxygen needs several times a day. They are also following the small bleed in his brain that they found the first day. Hopefully that will have cleared it's self up.
I found out today it will be a while before I can drive again. I drove 4 blocks to the store and it was a lot harder then I thought. The drugs are effecting my brain function and even though I hadn't had a pill for several hours, I had a hard time making normal driving decisions. It also requires a lot of muscle strength that I seem to have lost from my bed rest. Good thing my mom is here for another week, hopefully I will be doing better before she leaves. I don't know what I will do when she leaves, it is nice to have live in help. I know that God will provide as he always does.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
I am exhausted!!
I can't believe I have been home for 2 days. Too bad you can't save up rest and just power yourself up when you need it. I had a month in the hospital to rest and now I need rest and I have to go non-stop instead. Of course things are worse because I was on bed rest for a month. My muscles don't work as well, my whole body shakes because my muscles have atrophied so much. I know I am supposed to rest there just aren't enough hours in the day. My legs have started swelling in response to all the activity too. Oh well, I just have to keep going. Hopefully my body can keep up. At least the pain from my c-section is subsiding. I am still taking pain meds, but I have to take them less often.
Ryan on the other hand is doing great. He was on photo therapy for jaundice and that made his skin dry out and look terrible. Today they discontinued the photo therapy and he looked so much better. He also started feedings today. Well he is getting fed through a feeding tube but he is getting my breast milk that I am pumping. The doctor ordered feedings every 3 hours. His nurse said they usually start feeding on a 6 hour schedule but for some reason the doctor ordered every 3 for him. His first feeding was today at noon. I got to the hospital a little after 2 pm. His nurse checked his feeding tube by sucking it out with air to see if there was any food left from the first feeding, which there wasn't. That meant that he passed the first feeding test to she gave him his second feeding at 3 pm. Of course they only feed him 1 ml of food which is not very much, but at least he tolerated it.
Yesterday he was down to his lowest weight yet. 2 lbs. 10 oz. Thankfully today he had gained back 2 ounces to 2 lbs. 12 oz. That with without any feedings. Hopefully tomorrow he will have gained even more weight.
He is starting to be more active as well. His nurse said when she came on this morning he had his hand firmly grasped around the his respirator tube. She sedated him to make sure he didn't pull his tube out. But as I have said having to be sedated is a good sign it means he is feeling good. The fact that the respirator tube is starting to bug him is hopefully a good sign he will get off it soon. They did have to raise his oxygen level this morning but by the time I got there in the afternoon he was back to 33% oxygen.
I saw him cry for the first time today. He can't make any sounds because of the tubes, which breaks my heart, and there are no tears, but you can see it in his face that he is crying. Again this is a good sign. I got to change his diaper today which was just nice to be able to touch him more then I have been. He is so very tiny, the preemie diapers are big on him. It just kills me to not be able to pick him up and hold him, but I know I will before too long.
I will try to remember to take more photos tomorrow. He looked so good today and I took a picture with my camera phone but it is dark. I don't know why I didn't think to use the regular camera. I put it in the bag I take to the hospital for exactly that reason and I never even thought about it. Hopefully tomorrow he looks as good as today if not better.
Well, I am really tired but I wanted to make sure an put an update on here. Keep praying for Ryan, he isn't out of the woods yet, but God is definitely with him.
Ryan on the other hand is doing great. He was on photo therapy for jaundice and that made his skin dry out and look terrible. Today they discontinued the photo therapy and he looked so much better. He also started feedings today. Well he is getting fed through a feeding tube but he is getting my breast milk that I am pumping. The doctor ordered feedings every 3 hours. His nurse said they usually start feeding on a 6 hour schedule but for some reason the doctor ordered every 3 for him. His first feeding was today at noon. I got to the hospital a little after 2 pm. His nurse checked his feeding tube by sucking it out with air to see if there was any food left from the first feeding, which there wasn't. That meant that he passed the first feeding test to she gave him his second feeding at 3 pm. Of course they only feed him 1 ml of food which is not very much, but at least he tolerated it.
Yesterday he was down to his lowest weight yet. 2 lbs. 10 oz. Thankfully today he had gained back 2 ounces to 2 lbs. 12 oz. That with without any feedings. Hopefully tomorrow he will have gained even more weight.
He is starting to be more active as well. His nurse said when she came on this morning he had his hand firmly grasped around the his respirator tube. She sedated him to make sure he didn't pull his tube out. But as I have said having to be sedated is a good sign it means he is feeling good. The fact that the respirator tube is starting to bug him is hopefully a good sign he will get off it soon. They did have to raise his oxygen level this morning but by the time I got there in the afternoon he was back to 33% oxygen.
I saw him cry for the first time today. He can't make any sounds because of the tubes, which breaks my heart, and there are no tears, but you can see it in his face that he is crying. Again this is a good sign. I got to change his diaper today which was just nice to be able to touch him more then I have been. He is so very tiny, the preemie diapers are big on him. It just kills me to not be able to pick him up and hold him, but I know I will before too long.
I will try to remember to take more photos tomorrow. He looked so good today and I took a picture with my camera phone but it is dark. I don't know why I didn't think to use the regular camera. I put it in the bag I take to the hospital for exactly that reason and I never even thought about it. Hopefully tomorrow he looks as good as today if not better.
Well, I am really tired but I wanted to make sure an put an update on here. Keep praying for Ryan, he isn't out of the woods yet, but God is definitely with him.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The start of something new.
This is it, I am just waiting for Doug to come get me. I am excited about leaving the hospital. I am going to get a pedicure for my scary feet. I am cutting my hair off even if Doug doesn't like it. I am getting my eyes checked so I can go back to wearing contacts.
What have I learned from this experience?
Don't procrastinate!
Don't take your family for granted, you never know when you could lose them. Not that I lost my family but I haven't seem my babies for weeks. I just want to hold them, read to them, bake them cookie and shower them with love.
Don't sweat the small stuff. I am a pretty relaxed person but I still think I get caught up on the wrong things when dealing with my kids and especially my husband.
Always, Always turn to God. I don't have a lot of worries, I try very hard to give them to God. I probably worry my prayers too much though, instead of just talking to God. This time alone has given me an opportunity to connect with Him completely differently then I ever have before. It has helped me to submit to him. To look to him when I need strength and to trust in his responses when I need answers.
Overall I walk away with a sense of peace after this experience. While I still get upset when I see my little baby in the NICU, I know that he is going to make it out of this okay. My one prayer over the last month was no matter when Ryan was born that God made sure he wasn't born until he was able to survive without any long terms problems. I know that no matter what kind of ups and downs we go through that at some point in the next 12 weeks I will be able to take home my sweet little baby and move past all of this.
What have I learned from this experience?
Don't procrastinate!
Don't take your family for granted, you never know when you could lose them. Not that I lost my family but I haven't seem my babies for weeks. I just want to hold them, read to them, bake them cookie and shower them with love.
Don't sweat the small stuff. I am a pretty relaxed person but I still think I get caught up on the wrong things when dealing with my kids and especially my husband.
Always, Always turn to God. I don't have a lot of worries, I try very hard to give them to God. I probably worry my prayers too much though, instead of just talking to God. This time alone has given me an opportunity to connect with Him completely differently then I ever have before. It has helped me to submit to him. To look to him when I need strength and to trust in his responses when I need answers.
Overall I walk away with a sense of peace after this experience. While I still get upset when I see my little baby in the NICU, I know that he is going to make it out of this okay. My one prayer over the last month was no matter when Ryan was born that God made sure he wasn't born until he was able to survive without any long terms problems. I know that no matter what kind of ups and downs we go through that at some point in the next 12 weeks I will be able to take home my sweet little baby and move past all of this.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
My last day in the hospital
Tomorrow they kick me out of the hospital. I will leave with mixed feelings. While I am looking forward to going home and being with my family, I am not sure how I will be able to leave Ryan here. If they would let me sleep in the NICU I would. I am afraid that my life will expect me to pick up where I left off and I will have a hard time getting away to be with Ryan. I know that is probably not the case, I have to be here and I will be. Just like I have to be home and I will be there as well. I think I better start praying for my health.
No news is good news! At least that is what Ryan nurse told me tonight. She said they did an ultrasound on his heart today. When I asked her if all looked well she said the doctor would tell me and if they didn't call to update me then there was nothing to worry about and I didn't need to ask. Well if she know me she would know that doesn't work for me. I want to know what was found even if it was normal. What I did learn was not to ask that nurse for info.
Ryan is off the nitric oxide and his oxygen is down to 35% on the respirator. They did start him on photo-therapy last night for jaundice. I feel bad for him because it is drying out his skin and it probably isn't comfortable lying there under that light. They cover their eyes but still it doesn't look like fun. They still haven't have to sedate him. At first I thought it was a good sign he wasn't being sedated but then I realized it's not. The nurse said he probably doesn't feel good so he just lies there and isn't very active, thus they don't have to sedate him. If he felt well he would be more active and they would be sedating him. So really sedation is a good sign.
They are doing he testing less often. They were running his labs and basic test every 4 hours. Yesterday they went to every 6 hours and tonight they were down to every 8 hours. That's positive. He has also gained weight. He was born weighing 1310 grams, which is about 2 lbs. 14 oz. Yesterday he weighed in at 1357 grams. What does that work out to? 1360 grams is 3 lbs. so he is not quite 3 lbs. Of course he hasn't lost any weight so that is probably still to come.
My milk came in and I have been pumping and the NICU is freezing my milk. As soon as he is able to start getting food, it will be ready and waiting for him. That should help him put on some more weight. It sure helped his brothers.
So far I can't complain. As hard as it is to see my baby hooked up to machines and full of IV's, he is here. He is still alive and he is not having any major problems. That is more then a lot of the NICU parents can say. I know God is with him even when I can't be. God is there holding his tiny body and helping him make it into the world.
Wow my meds make me want to pass out. I got them a little over an hour ago and they are kicking in. It is all I can do not to fall asleep. I actually already have twice since I got the meds. I guess that is why they don't want me to drive.
No news is good news! At least that is what Ryan nurse told me tonight. She said they did an ultrasound on his heart today. When I asked her if all looked well she said the doctor would tell me and if they didn't call to update me then there was nothing to worry about and I didn't need to ask. Well if she know me she would know that doesn't work for me. I want to know what was found even if it was normal. What I did learn was not to ask that nurse for info.
Ryan is off the nitric oxide and his oxygen is down to 35% on the respirator. They did start him on photo-therapy last night for jaundice. I feel bad for him because it is drying out his skin and it probably isn't comfortable lying there under that light. They cover their eyes but still it doesn't look like fun. They still haven't have to sedate him. At first I thought it was a good sign he wasn't being sedated but then I realized it's not. The nurse said he probably doesn't feel good so he just lies there and isn't very active, thus they don't have to sedate him. If he felt well he would be more active and they would be sedating him. So really sedation is a good sign.
They are doing he testing less often. They were running his labs and basic test every 4 hours. Yesterday they went to every 6 hours and tonight they were down to every 8 hours. That's positive. He has also gained weight. He was born weighing 1310 grams, which is about 2 lbs. 14 oz. Yesterday he weighed in at 1357 grams. What does that work out to? 1360 grams is 3 lbs. so he is not quite 3 lbs. Of course he hasn't lost any weight so that is probably still to come.
My milk came in and I have been pumping and the NICU is freezing my milk. As soon as he is able to start getting food, it will be ready and waiting for him. That should help him put on some more weight. It sure helped his brothers.
So far I can't complain. As hard as it is to see my baby hooked up to machines and full of IV's, he is here. He is still alive and he is not having any major problems. That is more then a lot of the NICU parents can say. I know God is with him even when I can't be. God is there holding his tiny body and helping him make it into the world.
Wow my meds make me want to pass out. I got them a little over an hour ago and they are kicking in. It is all I can do not to fall asleep. I actually already have twice since I got the meds. I guess that is why they don't want me to drive.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Jan 12, 2009
Today was a better day. My pain is not as bad. I have been able to get out of bed more and walk around more. I was thinking I couldn't walk to the NICU but I will have to be able to walk from the parking lot to the NICU once I get out of here, so I figured I should work on that. I did walk down to the NICU and back all by myself tonight. They are saying I should get to go home on Thursday. That is the longest they can keep me. Ryan on the other hand will probably be here until his due date in April. So it will be a long haul of trips everyday to Reno.
Today Ryan is doing well, he was stable with assistance as the nurse put it. He is still on the respirator which they have added nitric oxide to the oxygen. With the help of the nitric oxide they were able to lower his oxygen level to 30%. They had the nitric level at 30 yesterday. It was down to 20 this afternoon and tonight he is down to 5. They said after 12 hours they will reduce his nitric level every hour by 1%. By this time tomorrow he could be off the nitric all together. They have also put a PIC line in so they were able to remove several of the IV sites he had. They haven't had to sedate him much as he is resting comfortably without it. They gave him a sponge bath today and now he is resting comfortably on his tummy. He is so tiny, his feet are about an inch long. His head is the size of a medium orange. From head to toe he is about the size of a loaf of bread. He has such a sweet face. I just want to pick him up and kiss him. It sounds like in another week or two I maybe able to hold him. If he wasn't on the type of respirator he is I actually could hold him now. Once he can change to another respirator Iwill get to hold him for a little while each day. I am looking forward to that.
I just keep hearing good reports from the nurses in the NICU. They say he is big for only being 28 weeks. They say he looks more like a 30 week baby. He is strong and he is definitely fighting to make it. What else can we ask for? They said in a few weeks he will be able to wear some clothes in the NICU so that has given me something to do, shopping for preemie things online. He is so tiny I can't imagine puttng clothes on him. He will be so cute!
Today Ryan is doing well, he was stable with assistance as the nurse put it. He is still on the respirator which they have added nitric oxide to the oxygen. With the help of the nitric oxide they were able to lower his oxygen level to 30%. They had the nitric level at 30 yesterday. It was down to 20 this afternoon and tonight he is down to 5. They said after 12 hours they will reduce his nitric level every hour by 1%. By this time tomorrow he could be off the nitric all together. They have also put a PIC line in so they were able to remove several of the IV sites he had. They haven't had to sedate him much as he is resting comfortably without it. They gave him a sponge bath today and now he is resting comfortably on his tummy. He is so tiny, his feet are about an inch long. His head is the size of a medium orange. From head to toe he is about the size of a loaf of bread. He has such a sweet face. I just want to pick him up and kiss him. It sounds like in another week or two I maybe able to hold him. If he wasn't on the type of respirator he is I actually could hold him now. Once he can change to another respirator Iwill get to hold him for a little while each day. I am looking forward to that.
I just keep hearing good reports from the nurses in the NICU. They say he is big for only being 28 weeks. They say he looks more like a 30 week baby. He is strong and he is definitely fighting to make it. What else can we ask for? They said in a few weeks he will be able to wear some clothes in the NICU so that has given me something to do, shopping for preemie things online. He is so tiny I can't imagine puttng clothes on him. He will be so cute!
Mothers intuition is always right
So I wasn't wrong it was a big deal, it was a very big deal. My nurse kept the baby on the monitor all night and he was doing okay although he was having quite a few dips in his heart rate which I knew wasn't normal for him. In the morning I got a new nurse and she was very concerned by my bleeding and the fact I was in pain. She called the doctor who was in the hospital and said she had to come see me. The doctor came in at 7 am. She felt my abdomen and saw it was painful to the touch so she said she needed to see if I was dilated. She tried to do a visual exam but there was too much blood, so she did a hand check and found I was 1 1/2 centimeters dilated. Based on that and how much very dark blood I had she said we needed to deliver the baby as there was either an infection or my placenta had abrupted. She did a quick sonogram to see if he was still heads down like he had been for several weeks. However in the course of one night he had turned completely around and was breach, so that meant a C-Section. I was rushed into emergency surgery and at 8:29 am Ryan James Sentell was born. He was only 2 lbs. 14.2 ozs. and 14 1/2 inches long. He was whisked away by the NICU team and I never even saw him, all I saw was an isolette full of blankets go by.
After surgery, Doug went to check on Ryan and then move all of my collected stuff from the past month out of my room. I laid in the recovery room coming out of anesthesia and getting my first taste of pain. After an hour I was put in another room where I laid in bed waiting for my next pain pill to come. Doug showed me pictures of my little tiny boy on his camera-phone. It was hard to tell from that little picture what kind of shock I was in for. He didn't seem that small and he didn't have a lot of stuff happening at that time. After about 8 hours the nurses asked if I was ready to get out of bed. Based on my pain level just trying to adjust in the bed I thought they surely must be kidding. They weren't!!! They told me in order to see my baby I had to get out of bed and walk. To this I cringed, walk to the NICU did they know how far that was!!! Thankfully they didn't mean I actually had to walk to the NICU just a few feet to my bathroom. If I could do that and get cleaned up then I could use a wheelchair to see my baby. Despite the excruciating pain I did as they asked and Doug got to wheel me to the NICU.
Here is where things went down hill. I found a tiny, tiny baby with tubes and wires come out of every part of his body. He was on a respirator that blows 300 tiny breaths into his lungs and causes his chest to quiver. Now while I was aware that this would probably happen and thought I was somewhat prepared, I was not! I started to cry, which made my incision hurt because I had to take deep breaths. I couldn't see my baby's face because it was facing the big respirator machine and I was on the other side. I was afraid to touch him, as I didn't want to get him sick or cause him any problems. To top it all off he was in crisis, his blood pressure was dropping, his oxygen level was low and they were doing a sonogram of his heart and lungs to try and determine what the problem was. I was having a hard time dealing with all I was seeing and then they said they needed us to wait by the desk so they could put another IV in. An IV in his head no less. The only good thing was one of the nurses came by and told the nurse who wanted us to leave that I probably just wanted to see his face. She told her to just let me look at his face before she put in the IV. She agreed and let Doug wheel me to the other side to see Ryan's sweet tiny face.
We sat by and waited while they put in his IV and the Cardiologist checked the sonogram of his heart and lungs. When they were done they let us come back at which time the Cardiologist told us his lungs weren't developed, which was a shock to us as everyone so far was saying his lungs looked really good for his age. They then started giving him a transfusion and drugs to bring up his blood pressure. While these things seemed to be helping his blood pressure and oxygen level, it was causing his heart to slow to dangerous levels. I had to leave when they ordered a sonogram of his brain. My biggest fear above all else is brain damage. I went back to my room filled with fear and worry.
They told Doug to come back just before 6 to check on his progress. Thankfully Ryan had responded well to the treatment. His oxygen level, blood pressure and heart rate were all up. The sonogram of his brain showed a very small bleed that was most likely causing his heart rate to drop and they said it should correct itself in the next few days and not cause any lasting problems. I was able to stop worrying and get some sleep.
After surgery, Doug went to check on Ryan and then move all of my collected stuff from the past month out of my room. I laid in the recovery room coming out of anesthesia and getting my first taste of pain. After an hour I was put in another room where I laid in bed waiting for my next pain pill to come. Doug showed me pictures of my little tiny boy on his camera-phone. It was hard to tell from that little picture what kind of shock I was in for. He didn't seem that small and he didn't have a lot of stuff happening at that time. After about 8 hours the nurses asked if I was ready to get out of bed. Based on my pain level just trying to adjust in the bed I thought they surely must be kidding. They weren't!!! They told me in order to see my baby I had to get out of bed and walk. To this I cringed, walk to the NICU did they know how far that was!!! Thankfully they didn't mean I actually had to walk to the NICU just a few feet to my bathroom. If I could do that and get cleaned up then I could use a wheelchair to see my baby. Despite the excruciating pain I did as they asked and Doug got to wheel me to the NICU.
Here is where things went down hill. I found a tiny, tiny baby with tubes and wires come out of every part of his body. He was on a respirator that blows 300 tiny breaths into his lungs and causes his chest to quiver. Now while I was aware that this would probably happen and thought I was somewhat prepared, I was not! I started to cry, which made my incision hurt because I had to take deep breaths. I couldn't see my baby's face because it was facing the big respirator machine and I was on the other side. I was afraid to touch him, as I didn't want to get him sick or cause him any problems. To top it all off he was in crisis, his blood pressure was dropping, his oxygen level was low and they were doing a sonogram of his heart and lungs to try and determine what the problem was. I was having a hard time dealing with all I was seeing and then they said they needed us to wait by the desk so they could put another IV in. An IV in his head no less. The only good thing was one of the nurses came by and told the nurse who wanted us to leave that I probably just wanted to see his face. She told her to just let me look at his face before she put in the IV. She agreed and let Doug wheel me to the other side to see Ryan's sweet tiny face.
We sat by and waited while they put in his IV and the Cardiologist checked the sonogram of his heart and lungs. When they were done they let us come back at which time the Cardiologist told us his lungs weren't developed, which was a shock to us as everyone so far was saying his lungs looked really good for his age. They then started giving him a transfusion and drugs to bring up his blood pressure. While these things seemed to be helping his blood pressure and oxygen level, it was causing his heart to slow to dangerous levels. I had to leave when they ordered a sonogram of his brain. My biggest fear above all else is brain damage. I went back to my room filled with fear and worry.
They told Doug to come back just before 6 to check on his progress. Thankfully Ryan had responded well to the treatment. His oxygen level, blood pressure and heart rate were all up. The sonogram of his brain showed a very small bleed that was most likely causing his heart rate to drop and they said it should correct itself in the next few days and not cause any lasting problems. I was able to stop worrying and get some sleep.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
I don't know what is going on so I will blog!
I am trying not to panic and patiently wait for my nurse to return but that doesn't seem to be working. I just meet my first big goal of 28 weeks today and tonight I started bleeding. I don't think this is a good sign I wouldn't think I could go for very long without delivering but my nurse didn't get as freaked out as I did. She put the baby on the monitor and said she would check with the doctors as see if they thought she should do anything else. She was very casual, like she was sure this was no big deal but she would see. I wasn't sure if she was trying to be casual so I wouldn't get freaked out more or if she really thought this was no big deal. I think this is a major deal and 20 minutes later she has not returned and I am still panicked. Maybe I am over reacting but I have had enough babies to know that bleeding isn't a good sign. I am not having any contractions but I am starting to have some pain. Again not a good sign, of course they have me on medication to block contractions so maybe I would be having contractions if I wasn't on the meds. I guess all I can do now is pray.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Almost to my first goal!
As of the end of the day today I only have 2 days to reach my first goal of 28 weeks. I spoke with my Dr. tonight and asked if her goal was 32 or 34 weeks and she said 34 if we can continue with no problems. That means 6 more weeks!! I can't panic though, my next goal is 30 weeks, so only 2 weeks to get there. Then I can worry about the next 2 weeks.
So far the drugs are stopping my contractions. The drug made me feel very strange the first dose, my heart raced, and I could feel the blood pumping through my veins. Thankfully subsequent doses have not effected me I don't notice them at all. I also did some research and they have found that preemies who were exposed to this drug had fewer complications. I can't complain about that. It just reaffirms that God is in control and everything happens for a reason.
Of course the lack of good food and no sweets are making me ready to deliver this little guy. I am so ready for some ice cream. It seems like every commercial on TV is for some kind of food I can't eat, they are killing me!! I am just praying when I get out of here my blood sugar returns to normal and I can have some of those things. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am doing all of this for Ryan, it's not about me!
So far the drugs are stopping my contractions. The drug made me feel very strange the first dose, my heart raced, and I could feel the blood pumping through my veins. Thankfully subsequent doses have not effected me I don't notice them at all. I also did some research and they have found that preemies who were exposed to this drug had fewer complications. I can't complain about that. It just reaffirms that God is in control and everything happens for a reason.
Of course the lack of good food and no sweets are making me ready to deliver this little guy. I am so ready for some ice cream. It seems like every commercial on TV is for some kind of food I can't eat, they are killing me!! I am just praying when I get out of here my blood sugar returns to normal and I can have some of those things. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am doing all of this for Ryan, it's not about me!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Day 24
We have made it to 27 weeks and 1 day. I have to admit that I am ready to go home. So far no contractions or infection. I have yet to have a high blood sugar reading. Of course they aren't giving me any sugar but my blood sugar has been pretty low. I guess I will lose weight while I am here. That can't be a bad thing.
I am starting to go stir crazy in here. It's not that I don't have stuff to do, it just that I am tired of doing what I have to do. Maybe I am going crazy from lack of sleep. The have changed the monitoring of the baby from once every 12 hours to every 8 hours. That means I have monitoring from 10 pm till midnight then they wake me up at 6 am to start another round of monitoring. Then after lunch when a nap sounds good, it's time for my 2 pm monitoring. Thankfully my nurse was very busy yesterday and she missed my 2 pm monitoring so I got to take a long nap. You know you tired when you take a 4 hour nap.
It doesn't help that there is nothing on tv. I get very few channels. I get TLC which hasn't had much variety over the holiday's just marathons. Then there is the ID channel, I call it the murder channel because all they do is profile murders. I get USA which has just been playing marathons. Then there are the basic network channels, 2 news channels and 2 or 3 sports channels. As bored as I am I don't think I will start liking football or soap operas anytime soon. I am trying not to do too much online shopping since I will probably owe the hospital a million dollars before I get out of here. Well maybe only a couple thousand after my insurance pays. But still more then we can easily afford.
The positive news is the nurses and doctors all say that baby Ryan's heart monitoring is better then most babies at 27 weeks. They say his heart is reacting like a much older baby. Which they say also has to do with his neurological development. I am hoping that is a good sign that when he is born he will do better then most preemies. Of course I realize he is still a preemie and will have complications I just hope that he is strong enough that he has fewer then most. We will see what happens.
I am starting to go stir crazy in here. It's not that I don't have stuff to do, it just that I am tired of doing what I have to do. Maybe I am going crazy from lack of sleep. The have changed the monitoring of the baby from once every 12 hours to every 8 hours. That means I have monitoring from 10 pm till midnight then they wake me up at 6 am to start another round of monitoring. Then after lunch when a nap sounds good, it's time for my 2 pm monitoring. Thankfully my nurse was very busy yesterday and she missed my 2 pm monitoring so I got to take a long nap. You know you tired when you take a 4 hour nap.
It doesn't help that there is nothing on tv. I get very few channels. I get TLC which hasn't had much variety over the holiday's just marathons. Then there is the ID channel, I call it the murder channel because all they do is profile murders. I get USA which has just been playing marathons. Then there are the basic network channels, 2 news channels and 2 or 3 sports channels. As bored as I am I don't think I will start liking football or soap operas anytime soon. I am trying not to do too much online shopping since I will probably owe the hospital a million dollars before I get out of here. Well maybe only a couple thousand after my insurance pays. But still more then we can easily afford.
The positive news is the nurses and doctors all say that baby Ryan's heart monitoring is better then most babies at 27 weeks. They say his heart is reacting like a much older baby. Which they say also has to do with his neurological development. I am hoping that is a good sign that when he is born he will do better then most preemies. Of course I realize he is still a preemie and will have complications I just hope that he is strong enough that he has fewer then most. We will see what happens.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Day 20 - Happy New Year!!
Can you believe it is 2009? I got to ring in the New Year with testing. Testing that I failed, so now I have a diagnosis of gestational diabetes. Happy New Year to me!! I am not so concerned about what this means today, I won't be pregnant too much longer (another 5 weeks at best). The concern is that by having gestational diabetes I more likely to develop Type II diabetes. That I want to avoid. I know, I know, I have to lose weight as that is part of why I have this. Once I get out of here I can work on it. Unfortunately they won't let me do anything about it in here. If anything being in here just make it worse. So I guess no more goodies!! There are going to cut off my sugar. Good thing I already took care of the goodies everyone brought me.
You know you are getting old when you fall asleep before the ball drops on New Years. I was 9 minutes away from the ball dropping. I laid my head down to rest my eyes and woke up about 12:30. Oh well, maybe next year. I guess this is going to be a year of all kinds of new things. I just hope they are all positive for the most part. Especially where baby Ryan is concerned. We want only positive things for him.
9 days to go and we hit 28 weeks. Only 37 days until we hit 32 weeks.
You know you are getting old when you fall asleep before the ball drops on New Years. I was 9 minutes away from the ball dropping. I laid my head down to rest my eyes and woke up about 12:30. Oh well, maybe next year. I guess this is going to be a year of all kinds of new things. I just hope they are all positive for the most part. Especially where baby Ryan is concerned. We want only positive things for him.
9 days to go and we hit 28 weeks. Only 37 days until we hit 32 weeks.
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